Boy Found Chained - Logan, Utah

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/10/dad-chained-kid-to-bed_n_5482223.html

I live in Logan, UT. Huffington post has it WRONG, they really didn't do any research at all on this story before posting it. Details about the father have been spewed ALL over the local news sites, and he was arrested the day of the "check". There was even an interesting interview with the neighbors. According to the neighbors, they assumed nothing was amiss with the family because they were always very social when the neighbors were outside.

This is actually a poor part of Logan, it looks to be right behind the Smith's near Main Street (closer to main street you get, the cheaper the living). The house itself looks maintained, as is required by Logan City. It is currently all taped off, and the road is closed. (I drove past it the other day wondering what was going on)

The father was arrested. The 28-year-old father was booked into Cache County Jail on four counts of child abuse. (This is actually across town, and not a far drive from his house. There is a small jail where they house criminals awaiting sentencing)

The chain used was a logging chain. It had enough "give" in it for the son to go to the bathroom in the adjacent room, or get a drink of water. The son claimed that it felt like a dog bite, or sharp pinch, whenever it jerked on him. There were also snacks left for the son to eat. (At least the idiot thought ahead, right?)

The girlfriend of the father also lives there, but she is not the biological mother. She refused to answer the door when they tried to speak to her about it.

The father is black (very rare in Logan, small town, almost zero black families...). His name is Sammie Hodges and has prior records for domestic violence in the presence of a child, assault and disorderly conduct in 2008. He later pleaded guilty to single counts of assault and disorderly conduct. He was also convicted of felony forgery and theft in 2009. He was arrested in 2011 when he broke the terms of his probation.

Here is a local news site about some of it...most of what I am typing I heard on the news yesterday.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865604897/Police-find-Logan-6-year-old-chained-to-bed-while-father-went-to-work.html

This is from our police blotter: "Child Abuse June, 10 2014 10:53:01 14-L9147
Tue Jun 10 15:39:33 MDT 2014

Police responded to the area of 1400 E 900 N on report of a child abuse. One
male was arrested for child abuse charges."

Some things to understand: People in Logan are backwards, stuck in the 60s. They are VERY religious, and if you attend church, then you are considered "normal" and written off. If you are not religious, then you are shunned and they cause a lot of problems for you. Also, according to a LOT of people, crime doesn't exist. Don't dare mention the word pedophile, or they think you are a nutjob.

As per putting the child in daycare, I believe the child is 6-7 years old and attends a local school here...that my daughters' attend. They are currently offering FREE daycare at the school during the summer (school is out) until 5pm. After 5pm, until 10pm, it's $10 for the entire summer. So, basically, this man could have enrolled his child in these two programs (which I have received SO many calls from the school district, and letters home about - things like this are blasted nonstop until mid-July, and is a way for the school to make money.) FOR FREE until 5pm. There is no excuse for that child to be home alone...and chained. There is also a FREE Boys and Girls club going. (Tons of FREE daycare, as most families have 5+ children here...)

That's about all of the information I have heard on it.

Classroom Gifts

I am notorious for my classroom gifts.  I don't like to spend more then $1.00 per child.  That rounds out to about $60.00 for both of my kids' classes.  It's really not hard to spend less money if you are "okay" at making crafts.

This is my list this year.



Return to School

This year, I have already started on our "return to school gifts".
Cupcakes with ABC's on the top (fondant)
60 rulers ($.25 each)
60 colored pencils boxes ($.47 each)
Pencils (made out of rolos)

*I like to help the teachers out sometimes and get them things they will need for the classroom.  My youngest might not need rulers this year in class, but she will definitely need the colored pencils.  My oldest might not need the colored pencils in class, but she'll need the rulers.  Either way, they can be used later if needed.*



Labor Day/Memorial Day

Popsicle stick flags
Red/White/Blue covered strawberries
Flag Pencils
Star cookies

*I am considering skipping memorial day as we are military, and tend to celebrate memorial day by going to the local cemetery.*




Halloween
For Halloween we are doing a baggie.  It will be a gift bag with a ghost on the front of it.

Pencils with black spider toppers
Candy (Pop ghosts, etc)
Our cupcakes
I have made little mini-bags of Witches Warts, Ghost Poop, Monster Scabs, and Jack O'Latern teeth
Poison Toffee Apples

*Mini bags and spiders have been completed, and I have started on our popsicle ghosts.*




Thanksgiving

I am doing turkey cookies (oreos)
Turkey Popsicles
Materials for classroom project: Turkey hand puppets (these can be done at home or at school, depending)




Christmas

Candy cane sleighs
Swiss miss mix reindeer
Reindeer candy canes
Goodie bags
All in a white gift bag that has a snowman on the front

*maybe glitter playdough*

**I have already gathered some things needed for this**




Valentine's Day

Bear hugs
Matchboxes with M&Ms inside
Chocolate covered sprinkle pretzels
Ladybug Strawberries




St. Patrick's Day

Shamrock Buddies
Stamps/Green paint classroom project (to make shamrocks out of q-tips etc)
3 D Shamrocks
Shamrock Pretzels
Cupcakes with Rainbows and Pots of Gold

*I have some left over Shamrock Buddies from last year*




Mother's Day

Mother's Day pots again with flower pens

*I have some pots left over from last year and will just do the same exact thing this year*




Easter

Food dyed sugar cookies (with hershey kisses on top)
Paper plate bunnies materials (for classroom)
Bunny poofballs
Cupcakes with robins eggs
Bunny Easter Eggs



Teacher's Day

Crayon Picture Frame
Teacher cupcakes
Color My Day
Grow Pot



Last Day of School

Might not do this...but thinking of making candy boxes out of toilet paper rolls that say "let's go bananas, school is out"...and putting runts inside of it.


So pretty much I need about 120 more pencil to buy, 60 rulers, pots, popsicle sticks, "lunch" bags, and some food coloring.

Most of this I will get right now during the return to school sales.  I love those sales and always stock up on everything I need for the coming year's presents.  It's also how I save money.

Public School and Taxes

I am not really a fan of public school teachers.  I am also not a fan of the $900 in taxes I pay the school system every year, and it's supposed to be going up another 14.9%.

Do you know what my tax dollars went towards last year?  Well, they raised the taxes by a good 50% (no kidding!) and then demolished the ONLY high school left standing.  There WAS three high schools.  Two were "decommissioned" and the final one was demolished.  It will be turned into a school for the mentally disabled.  They have already started construction on it.  Now, the high schoolers have to attend high school at a middle school.  Only a total of 200 can fit into this "high school".  There are no plans to replace any of these high schools.

It is a special needs ONLY school.  Now all of the high schoolers are being sent into one school, and the class sizes are close to 40 students per.  Little insane if you ask me.  No, we didn't get to vote on it either.  They held a conference on their "decision", and that's when things hit the fan.  We were supposed to have a vote, but when the time came...the "council" decided amongst themselves and basically made it a law.

Why am I paying even more money for this worthlessness?  Yes, there are a lot of handicapped children here.  However, to almost completely eliminate high school?  Wow...AND they are raising it AGAIN.  Time to move!

This is part of why I teach the girls something new every 2 weeks - a month.  They pick a topic to learn and I teach them.  Morals and personal responsibility are things I AIM for in my kids...it is VERY obvious that OTHER parents don't.  You can just stop by the kids' school just to see what these kids get away with nowadays.  MINE are always praised on how well behaved they are for even simple things...gotta be kidding!

This month we are learning about APRs and loans (K saw a commerical for it and asked...).  Last month we learned about the Holocaust (some assistant teacher at school once again said it never happened just like they did about 9/11, evolution, etc....however, in class, we learned all about where babies came from at the age of 5!).   K asked a lot of questions, because she sees the commercials on TV.  She has seen our bills and we've gone over which ones are a better rate, etc.  It's MY job to make sure they will be responsible adults, and I don't necessarily expect their school to help teach them that.  Things that we NEED to know in real life, are the things that I teach the kids during summer.

Did you know that the school here (even though it's not supposed to be religious) taught them that evolution is "made up"...there have been MANY things I have had to correct them on.  I even taught them about money, how to do bills, how to budget...  We also watched all the old cosmos episodes and are working our way through the new ones.

I'd also really like to stop getting their "reading" stuff printed out from a copier.  I haven't seen a REAL book come home with either kid YET.  It's all photo-copied.  The only REAL books that come home are from the library.  They say it's lack of funding, but it's really not.  Teachers are just copying pages from REAL school books and sending home chapters...WOW!  Apparently, schools books are from the old days and we just print stuff out now!

If it's not being taught in class, SOMEONE should be teaching them.  Sadly, the girls learn MORE at home with me (my kids straight up told me that the teachers just play with them all day and come home to with their classwork as homework).  I've stated multiple times that my girls learn almost nothing in school, and I should consider either home school or private school...however, the social learning is the ONLY reason I keep them in public school.  I've said it time and time again - schools are fairly worthless.  My printouts for their homework teaches them MORE then they are learning in class.  (K is already on multiplication, cursive, and many other subjects...the other students can barely count to 100)

Teachers are almost as worthless here.  I've met a total of TWO teachers out of 15 (?) that actually ATTEMPT to teach.   However, the school and other teachers get on them if they are teaching TOO much...and they have to stop/cut back.  The teachers here actually don't teach my kids anything.  We wind up having to teach my kids a LOT.

My sister sends her kids to a private Catholic school (they aren't Catholic) and their schooling is 100x better then what my girls receive.  Granted, there is more bullying and my sister has to pay tuition.  However, her girls have classes for gifted children (super smart) and mine doesn't...because it would be "unfair".

The school system my girls are in won't reward my children for being outstanding because other parents complained.  The other parents don't believe in competition.  I disagree.  My daughters worked hard on their recent science projects last year.  Only one was rewarded because parents complained.  I find this appalling.  It's a competition.  Your kid didn't win, so stop trying to change the results.  If you don't want to be IN a competition then don't sign up for it!

The common core standards are ridiculous.  Don't get me started on them, they mostly just enable what I call "lazy teaching".  Here the common core is used as an excuse as to WHY they are once AGAIN spending three months on just adding/subtracting or counting 100 - AGAIN.  The testing for it is also sad, at best.  Other PARENTS test your child.  NOT the teacher.  They sit your child in front of a computer screen, or with a stack of papers to fill out...and the other PARENT tests them.  Wow!

They *DO* use ipads in my kids' school, but ONLY in the speech class and for GAMES.  JUST games like Angry Birds...it's not used in the educational sense.  They also gave parents a link to many websites for kids to practice reading, math, etc, AT HOME...but are NOT used in the classroom.

This no tolerance is complete garbage.  Either people are using it to enforce the shooting motions and taking it extreme, or like in the girls' schools...they are using it as an excuse to victim blame.  The principals absolutely refuse to be "that school" on the news here, so they go out of their way to sweep things under the rug instead of actually TRULY punishing bullies. I've seen MANY bullies get away with their actions due to the school not wanting to make a "big deal" out of something.  Zero tolerance does mean zero tolerance...right?  So, use it or don't use it as an excuse to let a bully run free!

If anything: the two different schools teach neither morals, life lessons (except the negative ones forced on them), nor responsibility.  They are barely learning anything - if at all - at their school.  I don't put up a fuss about it though.  I deal with it and make sure my kids are learning what they need to learn.  I probably might even have them take online college courses or online high school later.  Why is a GED not as good as a High School Diploma?  It shouldn't be.  It should be equal.

Good PTA moms are VERY hard to find (our own PTA contains 4 women who do nothing for the school and only like to stand around to gossip about other parents).    Parents teaching their kids personal responsibility - when they themselves don't have it?  HA!  It's a problem with America these days...selfish, entitled jerks are raising children to be...selfish, entitled jerks.  It won't get better.  It's been getting worse every year.... You can always see these types from a mile away.  I make sure my kids learn from their terrible examples, and use it to HELP my kids become better people (then even I am).

I have done so much for my girls' school that everyone knows me by my first name.  I am well known for helping out with anything needed.  I don't mind.  Usually, it will help my kids out in the long  run.  I am fine with that.  But, I am not a member of the PTA.  I am a PTA self-outcast.  Those women do little to nothing.  Parents like ME are hard to find, and I believe I am one of two in the entire school.  The teachers even know my family and my kids aren't even in their classrooms.  I am happy we have a good reputation.  I am unhappy that we do more then the entire PTA combined.  Over the past two years alone, I have done more for this school then the PTA has done in over a decade.  That's pathetic.

Don't even DARE approach these parents either...they are right, and you are wrong - no matter if their kid broke your solar light or broke your child's nose!  I've seen so many instances where these parents just excuse their kids behavior.  These parents need a reality check.  If your child is a snot, it's your fault.  Time to teach them how to behave.

PTAs are worthless at my kids' school.  It's just a bunch of women showing up to gossip about other parents.  They ONLY hold one event per year (it's the carnival), and it's usually a truely terrible experience.  In essence, us "non-PTA" moms do a LOT more for the school then the actual PTA does.

Good teachers are VERY hard to find (2 out of 15? so far).  The good teachers were fantastic, though one of them had a major health problem during the year and missed half of the school year.  I'm not sure when teaching became SO lazy.  Teaching is teaching.  You are supposed to TEACH, not just fool around all day.

While I learned these types of things from my own parents and not in school, I make SURE my kids learn everything that they are missing out on.  I see it as part of being a good parent.  I see it as not adding fuel to the fire.  It is part of what I call being a "red pill".  Sadly, other parents don't see it that way.  They whine about how things are broken and LET their kids get a terrible education.  That's not my way.  If I see something isn't working, I take extra steps to MAKE it work.  Bad education at school?  Fine, teach them at home.  Bad PTA?  Fine, I'll make some extra pencils or something for Halloween.

I could go on and on about the lack of schooling and how broken our schools are for HOURS.  So, I'll just end it on this note:  If your kids aren't learning it at school (and you notice)...then teach them yourself.  While public school is completely broken...I make sure that my children learn what they need to know.  If it's something they ask about, I triple make sure that we learn it.

On a side note: I am considering either home schooling (ehh little bit leery of this), or private schooling when we move.  I figure nothing could be worse then what we have been going through with the schools here.

The Lottery (TV Show) Review and Feminism

I was really excited to see the new tv series called The Lottery.  Little did I realize that it would be laced with feminist bullshit throughout the entire show.  I am sadly disappointed in the pilot episode.  I assume the next few episodes will NOT be tainted by feminism, but one can only hope.

For those of you that do not know me, I am very anti-modern day feminism.  It's a joke.  It's not about equality.  It's about women whining for shit they didn't earn themselves.  The earlier feminists actually had some good points.  Yes, women should be allowed to work in certain fields - if they had the qualifications - and get paid the same as men for doing the same exact job.  Women shouldn't be forced to be house moms for kicks.  The original feminists actually were very similar in their logic as I am.

If a woman was going for a construction job and didn't have the qualifications, I feel that in no way should she be hired.  Why should you be hired to do a job when you aren't the best person for it?  Modern day feminists disagree with me.  They feel that a woman should get the job always.

While on the opposite spectrum, if a woman is qualified and does her job as good as or better then her male counterparts...then she should be paid the same exact wage as them.  However, a woman should not be rewarded simply because she is a woman.  She should be rewarded for her own actions and experience.  She shouldn't be given free hand outs.

Don't get me started on their ideas of rape.  Did you know modern day feminists feel that men can't be raped?  I disagree.  My husband was molested when he was 6 years old, and the babysitter got away with it.  Rape is no laughing matter.  It doesn't matter the color of your skin or your sex.

What about their stances on a healthy woman or media portrayal?  Well, those "this is a real woman" showing a picture of the fat girl next to an anorexic girl is ALL them.  I disagree with these pictures.  I disagree with the feminists that think skinny girls aren't real or don't exist healthily.  I exist.  I am skinny.  I am proud of it.  It is NOT difficult to maintain your weight.  If I have to hear one more person complain that they have a health condition or medication causing them to be fat, I will probably laugh in their face.  Yes, medications can cause you to have food cravings...but you don't give into that urge.  It is your choice to keep eating.  Most health conditions do NOT cause weight gain.  They cause a problem to LOSE the weight.  It can still be done, but damn those feminists are anti-having to work for any sort of gain.

Granted, feminists are all about no violence against women.  I am all for that.  However, I don't want any violence period.  Have you seen a woman hitting her husband in public?  I have.  Just because he is a man, doesn't mean that he can't be abused.  Men these days are raised not to hit girls back, I say differently.  If she is hitting you and won't stop...then you have my full permission to hit her once with a decent amount of force to get her off of you.  It's only fair.  However, if you don't want to hit her...don't do it.  But, whatever.  Women can actually be more abusive then men, but in a feminists' mind - NO woman can EVER be abusive...

There are even some feminists out there that believe if you are married and have a man (these are the extremists that would rather only use men as sperm banks), that you are less of a woman.  My husband and I have made a fanastic life together.  Granted, if something were to happen and we divorced, then that is on BOTH of us.  It's not up to some feminist to tell me if I should have a man or not.

Don't even get me started on some views they have on divorce.  Did you know our justice system is actually REALLY skewed to the woman during divorce?  During my first amicable divorce (we are still best friends), the judge (who was a well known feminist) told me that I should be trying to take him for everything he had and then some.  Because of her stance, which was openly declared, I decided to just mediate our divorce instead.  She even had the nerve to tell the entire court room that my husband should not be allowed near my children, just because he is a soldier.  How insane!  My ex is a FANTASTIC father, when he is around (we divorced because of his many tours).  How DARE she tell me to exclude him from their lives permanently just because of his job!  But, if you don't know what parental alienation is...you should look it up.  Feminists helped to create this idea and it has permeated our courts now.

I also don't agree with the feminist view that women are naturally better at raising their children then men.  That is simply not true.  In every family, parents do a lot for their children.  Let's ignore the women that KILL their children for a while.  But, according to feminists if a child is being raised by their father, they should immediately be taken away and given to the mother even if she is a crackhead.  I disagree with this.  If the woman is a terrible parent, she shouldn't have the children.

How about trying to explain white boy guilt to a poor white boy?  That sure goes over well.  Not every man in our society, who is white, is treated suddenly better.  They are WAY off base on this.  In fact, having to deal with minorities AND feminists makes getting a job, going to college, and other things MUCH harder to do.  Why can't we all just leave it alone and let people's credentials speak for themselves?  The more we try to fix "equality", the worse it is getting.  Just leave it alone.

Also, there is a new thing going on in Canada for new college students.  Did you know the males are required to attend a rape seminar before even being admitted into college?  It's like a final "test".  If you don't show up for this seminar, and don't listen to it, then you don't get to attend college even if you have paid for it and been accepted into that college.

What do they discuss during these seminars?  Well, that is easy to answer.  The entire seminar is about how EVERY male in the WORLD IS a rapist.  There are a lot of things wrong with this statement.  Just because you are male, that doesn't make you a rapist.  To even be spouting such garbage to these college students is insanity.  Aside from the fear-mongering and trying to tell these young men that it's in their genes (just because they are male) to be rapists, but that is also completely unfounded.  Can you imagine if every single one of them WAS really rapists?  That is a LOT of rapists for just one college campus.

This seminar is a huge topic for debate lately.  I am unsure as to why feminists believe all males ARE or WILL BE rapists at some point, but I don't like this stance they have been taking either.  There is a twitter for feminists where they post about how men have treated them during the day.  Read some of it.  It's absolutely insane!  It's called #killallmen (wow...just wow...). (http://www.avoiceformen.com/allnews/feminist-hate-explodes-on-twitter-with-killallmen/)  Feminists probably won't click on that link, because it links to an MRA website...but it does have a lot of nasty quotes from females on that twitter on there.  Well, feminists nowadays are in love with the idea of killing all men.  Does that include my 6 month old son or wonderful husband? But you know, calling to kill all or most men is NOT sexist...right? LOL

The feminists out there believe in eye rape, and most any kind of rape.  If you dress like a slut, yes...someone is going to look and probably make a comment.  Have some respect for yourself and cover up.  You leave more mystery when your goods aren't shown for the entire world.

What about their #BanBossy campaign?  I'm against this as well.  Since when does calling someone bossy mean that they are a terrible, vile person?  It just means...they are bossy.  They aren't calling you a bitch (though I wouldn't mind if someone did), they are saying you like to tell people what to do.  The campaign itself is bossy, what with telling us what to do.  Just because some girls are terrified of being leaders, doesn't mean that we should ban a word.  As I have previously said, what is to stop people from hating the word "purple" next?  What the hell.  There is always going to be name calling and insults from everyone.  Learning to deal with it and keeping your head up, is a great way to learn how to deal with real life.  Banning a word won't change how these girls look at taking a leadership role.

As a matter of fact, while we are at it...let's ban the words "asshole", "dick", and "cunt"...  But, no, bossy is considered to be ONLY used to describe females...so the feminists have jumped on ONLY that word.  Why?  Why are we putting so much effort into being offended by words?  Yes, they have the potential to hurt feelings...but you can hurt ANYONE'S feelings with ANYTHING nowdays.  This political correctness bullshit needs to stop.  If people don't want to hear your opinion of them, maybe they shouldn't ask or listen to it.

I'm so tired of having to watch what I say around other adults and children.  I should be able to say what I want, when I want to.  WITHOUT someone telling me that I am being "mean" or "shouldn't say that word".  Why not?  There are millions of other substitute words I could use, so why just ban the one?  Pointless.

I am not MRA (Men's Rights Activist), though I can see some of the points they make.  Ever had a healthy debate with a feminist?  I have.  They ignore facts and go straight for opinions like moths to a flame.  Don't try to debate with them or disagree with them.  You will get nowhere.  For example, the first comment to this post was that I am a terrible mother and should never have had kids.  This is funny.  Instead of debating or even stating WHY a person thinks I may be wrong (I can be wrong sometimes), I was instead insulted for my opinions.

Most females nowadays are spoiled little princesses that manipulate the fuck out of people.  Don't believe me?  Try dating one of them.  They are perpetually using tears to get what they want.  I have heard stories from my single male friends that would make any REAL woman cringe.  My own girls have seen these little terrors being raised to be exactly like their mothers.   This is a problem with America.  As a female, you are not entitled to anything and if you manipulate anyone into something - then that makes you scum.

I have seen little girls being molded into exact copies of their mothers, most of whom are feminists.  They cry, manipulate, lie, and cause all types of problems.  Don't believe me?  Go into ANY classroom (Pre-K to 12th) and look for the Queen Bee.  Each class has one.  They are usually asshole kids and most need a good spank.  We shouldn't be raising our daughters to act like this nor should we raise them to EXPECT things just because they are girls.  That is sexism.

But, what is feminism really doing for women of my generation?  Nothing personally for me.  They are only trying to stir up a stink about things they *perceive* is wrong. Not everything is misandry.  Not everything is a man trying to keep a woman down.  People need to realize that.

There are also feminists out there that believe if a man doesn't open or hold a door for them, that they are evil.  I disagree with this.  Open your own damn door and stop complaining.

Okay, so you basically get the jist of my views of feminists.  I'm not really a fan of modern day feminists or modern day females in general.

So, the main problem I had with the show was the father (Kyle) and his son (Elvis).  Feminism and female manipulation to an extreme.  You are introduced to a good father, who is single handedly taking care of one of the last 6 children to be born naturally.  He arrives at school to drop his son off, and naturally he lets his son ride shotgun.  They are running a little late, so both are rushing to get inside.

Instead, a bunch of "moms" decide to butt into the father's business.  They start offering him their help.  According to these "mothers", because Elvis doesn't have a mother of his own...they all should step up and ACT like a mother to Elvis.  Obviously, this would piss of any parent and it pisses off Kyle.

This comes back down to feminism and the school hierarchy.  There are TONS of instances like this happening everyday.  It is NOT up to these mothers to parent his child for him.  It is not their job or their business to be interfering with the way he parents.  It's not their business to be telling him or helping him raise his son.  He seems to be doing just fine without their interference.

Okay, so skip forwards to later in the day.  Kyle is off doing it with random strangers who are paying for his sperm since he is such a healthy donor.  I say good for him.  Hey, if people are that desperate for a child and the human race can't repopulate...might as well help it along for money.  He gets a call that his son is sick at school.

Naturally, as a good parent, he rushes to the school only to find out that it is a simple flu.  But, because the mothers were told off earlier about butting out...they decided to get butt hurt and do what ANY feminist who is told to butt out would do - they get revenge.  They call social services.  Say that he didn't have his son in a seat belt and was sitting in the front seat.

How dare he!!!!  How dare this father endanger his son that way!  Wait, what?  Why was this even reported?  Oh right.  They are feminist Nazi bitches.  He put them in their place, told them to stop physically touching his child (which they shouldn't be fucking doing in the first place), and they decided to jump on him as soon as his son got sick.

I really hate people like this.  This was all kinds of bad manipulation done by some women that were told to stop touching his kid, and god forbid that Kyle didn't need their help RAISING his son.  WAH for them!

How would they feel if he tried to parent THEIR kids?  They would be outraged too!  But, because he is a man, he is instantly slated as a devil father.

In the show, Elvis is sent to a hospital without his father (wow, really?!) and separated from him.  Because Kyle cannot jump through the hoops anymore and get his son out, he decides to steal his own son out of the hospital.  I can't say that I blame him and actually am rooting for him to keep his son.  I would do the same thing.  However, now Elvis and Kyle are considered fugitives and Elvis has been supposedly kidnapped by his own father.  The horror!

In the end, this was a bunch of uppity bitches that were angry that someone told them to butt the fuck out.

This reminds me of something that happened recently at my daughters' school.  A father was picking up his daughter from school, and he told her not to cross the street without him.  To hold his hand.  Seems simple right?  Well, some teacher's aid decided he said it a little nasty (he didn't).  He told the little girl to mind her own business and go back to doing her job - teaching.  She called the cops on him and said that she SAW him physically abusing his daughter.  He obviously didn't.

This is a small town, I saw almost 20 cop cars and motorcycles parked every way from Sunday outside of my daughters' school (I took pictures).  They even slapped cuffed on the father and removed the daughter from his care - without asking him for his side of the story first.  They took this teacher's aid words over the words and wellbeing of this man's daughter.  I am sure she is traumatized by what happened.  I could see his daughter crying hysterically, begging for her father.

In the end, the principal had to come out and diffuse the entire situation.  The father was released with no charged.  The teacher's aid was told to mind her own business.  The cops stayed around for a good two hours just to talk about what had happened.  I'm sure that father and his daughter won't forget this anytime soon.

My point is this:  everyone seems to want to butt into how people parent.  They see something they think is wrong or wrong in their head, and don't assess the situation before realizing that it was NOTHING.  I am not saying don't get involved if you see something like abuse in public, but I am saying that you have NO RIGHT to take out your revenge on children.  If you don't like that a PARENT told you to butt out, then fine.  But, it's really none of your business if they aren't doing anything wrong.  Don't be a vicious bitch.

Both situations were caused by manipulative, revengeful females.  Females need to realize that they are not the gatekeepers to all fathers.  There are fantastic fathers out there.  Women don't need to be judging them.  Women don't need to be attacking them for NO REASON.  If you don't like that he had the balls to tell you to shut the fuck up, then suck it up and move on.

This is the main reason I hate this show.  I will continue to watch it, but I really hope there is no more sly feminist shit anymore.  I'm tired of the bullshit that females cause in our society.  This is sad, because I am obviously female.

What's even worse is that I can see a feminism, narcissistic, controlling, manipulative bitch from 20 feet away.  Tears don't work on me.  Your little mind games don't work on me.  I'm raising my girls to be independent free thinkers.  You should be raising yours to be that way too.  Yes, your girls are always princesses...but they don't need to act like little bitches to get what they want.  They should be earning it.

This current female society makes me really worried for my baby boy.  He is white and male.  He will have all kinds of problems in the future, and I hope that I can be there to help him.

Edit:  The reason why I compared the two different scenarios (real life and TV) is because it shows exactly what happens in comparison.  Neither of the two fathers did anything wrong in regards to parenting their kids.  They were both being protective and not putting up with some female telling them what to do.  I mean, haven't we all dealt with people judging or commenting on our parenting skills in public?  Yes, we have...and it's no different for fathers.  I find it sad that just because they ARE male, they are treated like criminals.

Neither scenario was abuse.  Neither needed protective services or the cops involved.  Both involved females getting angry that someone told them to mind their business.  Both involved females looking for revenge.  Neither was appropriate to do.

Letter to My Asshole Neighbors...

We have had too many problems with our neighbors, and tonight was the last straw for me.  We have tried to be nice, mean, and everything in between.  It is time for a letter.  I don't know if I will actually send this letter, but I wrote it all out so that I can use it later - if needed.

Dear Asshole Neighbors,

I am writing this letter because speaking to you has done nothing. My mother-in-laws (both of them), my father-in-law, my husband, my brother, and myself have all tried to speak to you about what has been going on. When we spoke to you, you said to keep an open line of communication. We tried to do that, to no avail. You obviously don't care about anyone but yourself and this was a fake nicety on your part. You live in a COMMUNITY and your actions effect your neighbors.  Naturally, we'd have some complaints about the things you have been doing.

    We put up with your weekly Saturday parties and adjusted our schedule so it didn't interfere with our lives. As you can imagine, your parties are not quiet and last all day long until past midnight. Your "guests" park anywhere they want to. Including my driveway and on the wrong side of the street. Your "guests" scream things at my children and dog over the fence during these parties.  We do not leave our house on Saturdays and do not do our yardwork either.  This is mainly due to not being able to get out of our driveway or worrying about breaking someone's care.  This is not very neighborly, but we put up with it since it was only once a week and you only do it during the warm weather.

We even put up with your 9 day party spree. What? You don't remember that? You had a party that lasted for 9 straight days, sometimes until 2am every night. It made life hell for the entire neighborhood. We may be the closest to your house, and thus you don't think you aren't annoying anyone...but you are. We were not the only ones to have a problem with this large party stint you had in June. But, we understood that you were super excited that it was the start of summer...so we put up with it.  Surprisingly, we weren't even the ones to call the police on you that time.

We put up with you taking pictures/videos of our children. Yes, I saw you and your friends across the street doing that. You think you are being slick and we don't notice you, but we do.  I should not have to ban my children from the front yard just because I don't want you taking pictures of videos of them.  Not only is it illegal for you to video tape or take pictures of under-aged children, but you didn't have my permission to do so.  You are lucky I didn't call the cops.

 

We notice when you are standing outside our house and watching us do yardwork or playing in the front yard.  You do realize that this is stalking, right?  We have a right to be on our property without the fear of being harassed.  I should not have to lay mulch in my yard at midnight just to avoid you.  I am not a show to watch.  I am a human being doing yardwork.  It's boring.  Why bother staring at me do it?  It was hard NOT to notice you standing in their yard and gossiping about us in front of our house. Please stop. We don't go into our front yard anymore because of this.

You have been letting your dog loose into our yard without a leash and so have your friends across the street. I almost ran it over when I pulled into my driveway. Yes, I saw you standing on your porch calling for it. So, you obviously knew this dog was in our yard and didn't stop it. Your dog may not appear vicious, but when it doesn't move from out of the front of my huge SUV and continues to try to chase my kids and I into our house...it comes across as vicious. You are lucky we didn't call animal control all those times. But, we put up with this because we figured it was an "oopsie". We tolerated this to keep the peace, even if you and your friends have let your dogs loose multiple times.  There is a leash law for a reason, use it.

Also, we aren't sorry we "ruined" your engagement party.  Which, we didn't even come close to doing that and we don't feel guilty.  But, we liked your attempt to make us feel bad about it.  Your fat brother did that.  Maybe if you had had some common sense and natural human decency, your fat brother wouldn't of have a flip out in MY yard.  We were trying to figure out amongst ourselves, on our property, in my garage, if we should still do our yardwork or not.  Naturally, YOU caused this problem and we were trying to figure out a solution to this mess.  We had already skipped doing yardwork for THREE weeks before we decided to even attempt it.  How were we supposed to know what was going on over there?  How were we supposed to know that you would be listening in our on conversations?

We weren't invited nor informed about your massive party, yet you felt we were in error for wanting to actually USE our front yard?  Are you serious?  There was no warning you were going to have yet ANOTHER party.  How were we to know this one was actually important to YOU.  Just because it is important to you, doesn't mean it is important to us.  We weren't invited.  We have lives too, and you have been infringing on our rights since day one.  An engagement party is not an excuse to be a bunch of assholes to your patient neighbors.

We didn't say anything when they were walking across our yard or throwing their trash in our yard.  We managed to swallow our anger and clean up the mess you pigs left in our yard.  Every time.

We didn't say anything when one of them hit our mailbox or kicked in one of my solar lights for funsies.  Which I finally just got enough money to fix.  You owe me $47.00 for that, but I never asked for it since I am a nice neighbor.  I have a picture of the license plate of who caused the damage.  You can send the bill to them.

Also, your guests have a tendency to block our mailbox.  We haven't been getting our mail and the mail lady is rather pissed about it.  You do realize that you make her job harder when she can't deliver the mail, all because your "guests" are illegal parked in front of my mailbox and driveway.

You are lucky we have not called a tow truck to have anyone removed from our property.  We have resorted to never leaving the house during one of your parties.  Your guests block our driveway, and even park in it.  That is illegal.  Next time, I WILL have them towed.  Have fun paying those fees.

We didn't say anything when you were being super loud again.  You are supposed to be quiet after 6pm at night.  We know this is unrealistic during a party, but around 9pm you should shut the fuck up.  Your neighbors have a right to silence at night.

Your guests felt the need to USE our yard, in front of our house, driveway and anything else they felt they had the right to use.  We didn't say anything when some of them parked in our driveway and YOURS was empty.  This caused the pizza delivery guy to walk about a block to our house a few times.  You do realize that there is a street less than 5 feet away that has ZERO houses or other people to bother, right?  You can park there. It's the same walking distance, and doesn't annoy your neighbors.
We didn't even say anything when your brother was bitching about MY sprinklers hitting MY grass near his car.  WAH for him!  How DARE we water our grass, on our yard day, in our OWN yard!  How DARE we have our sprinklers running BEFORE he even showed up!  We are SO evil!  He KNEW we were watering our grass, and STILL parked there.  Did you even hear what he said to us BEFORE he even got onto your property?  That guy is a piece of work.  We were watering our grass before he even showed up!  How DARE he get a little wet after parking in front of our house.

We ONLY said something when YOU and YOUR family decided to eavesdrop into our family home. By the way, that was tacky. We were arguing about whether or not to do our grass or skip it again for the week. We can't keep skipping doing our yard just because you want to keep having a party lifestyle. If a rock kicks up and hits your guests' windshield, we are liable. I don't exactly feel like paying for a new windshield when your guests shouldn't be there in the first damn place.

Your brother is the reason your engagement party turned out the way it did.  We were minding our own business, which you should have done, and then all of a sudden he comes storming over screaming at me.  He is lucky he didn't come closer.  I doubt he realized my husband was in the garage, because as soon as he saw him...he ran away like a baby.  Your brother has no right to harass me and verbally assault me in front of my children, just because he had to move his car.  Poor him!  Maybe he shouldn't of parked there in the first place!

We pay the mortgage on our property here. Not you. If I don't want your drunk brother parking in front of my house when I'm doing yard work, then I don't want him there. Deal with it. The fact that you claimed her was a sheriff makes it even worse. He may be religious, which I doubt, and he may be in a position of supposed power...but the guy is a massive dick with a superiority complex. I don't bow down to some overgrown, entitled teenager during a temper tantrum when I am on my own property trying to handle his bullshit. Oh, and we have a video of him flipping out. I wonder what would happen if that video somehow made it to his superiors? We deserve an apology for his actions FROM him.

Your fat brother claimed I was a 19 year old little girl. I am 31 years old and an active duty military spouse. My husband has done three tours and even he is tired of your crap. It takes a lot to make someone like him get angry, but you have managed to wheedle down his patience to NONE in less then 2 years. That's truly amazing. He never got pissed during tour, or about protesters, but for you? Yes, he has gotten royally angry at. I applaud you and your "guests" for your new breed of assholeness. It's a sad day when you are worse then a terrorist.

We have lived here for over 7 years and did not have a problem with any of our neighbors until you moved in. We put up with a lot over the last two years from you, out of being good neighbors. But, no longer. Because of everything you have done to us, we are no longer going to put up with anything anymore. If your dog is off the leash or barking past 6 pm, if you shoot off fireworks, if you have loud parties that last until past midnight...I WILL call the cops. I am tired of your bullshit.
Since you have moved in, we have had a constant yearly problem with your fireworks. The first straw was the first year you moved in and we thought you had gotten the hint when we called the police on you. You do realize that you are not allowed to aim your fireworks at anyone's house, right? The police don't care if you are shooting them from the street or your yard. If it is entering my property and bouncing off my roof, or landing in my yard...it is illegal. You could start a fire.

But, you did it again the very next year. I had to sit outside with my children and make sure no fires were being started on my roof or in my yard. We even cleaned up your parachute mess. I spent two weeks cleaning up your firework mess.  Your relatives were understanding and even appreciative of us. You were not. You obviously didn't learn your lesson.

Thankfully you didn't shoot them onto my roof this year. You have the nerve to shoot them off after 10:45pm at night. You do realize that in the Canyon that there are tons of fires being started because of fireworks and that there is a law stating which times are acceptable to shoot off fireworks, right? You have broken two laws. I have found your fireworks in my pool, on my roof and in my yard this year. Just because you are shooting them off in your front yard, doesn't mean that they aren't still landing in MINE. You are not allowed to shoot fireworks off past 9:30pm. For a reason. You live in a family orientated neighborhood. How many other children have you been waking up besides mine?

I am tired of having my 7 month old waking up crying because you are selfish, entitled assholes. I am tired of my other kids waking up and freaking out about them. I am tired of hearing my puppy barking nonstop because she is terrified of fireworks now, because of you. I am tired of your selfishness. I actually prayed this year that you didn't light my house on fire. Even though you are technically allowed to shoot off fireworks until July 31st, you're not supposed to do it once every 3 days. People have lives and need to sleep.

‎Also, our fence is 6 inches into our property and we have allowed you to USE part of it since you moved in. I want you to move your sprinklers so they are no longer on my property or spraying into my yard. You are lucky I am not asking you to remove your fence from my property. I am not asking this due to the fact that your rabid dog might get loose again. I haven't said anything until now, simply because I was attempting to be nice. That fake niceness is now gone. Move your sprinklers or I will bring you to court.

We paid someone to come out and spray the weeds in our yard.  Your sprinklers turned on that night and wasted the money we spent.  You also wasted the money we spent on our own weed killer.  You have a massive bill for that, too.  We didn't even realize this was what was happening until I heard the sprinklers on one night.

You are a prime example of entitlement and what is wrong with this country. You have officially pissed off not only us, but several other families on the block. Several families have been stating they are moving to get away from you. There are reasons why these people hate you, and I'm just the type of bitch to tell you them. It's because you don't care about anyone else's RIGHT to peace.

Now, I can understand if you are reading this and thinking "what a bitch". But, someone had to tell you. You moved into a neighborhood that doesn't put up with college partying bullshit. This is a family neighborhood with small children. If you don't like having to actually be grownups and follow the laws, then maybe you should move. 99% of us have children and like to SLEEP at night. We like going into our yards to play and have fun. Since you have moved in, we cannot do that anymore. It is only right that someone actually tell you how much you are pissing people off.

PS. Your Christmas "gift" made the entire neighborhood sick. You should give up canning for good, as you can't even handle such a simple feat.        

Summer Vacation Surprises

My daughters have been enjoying their summer vacation to the fullest.  They have been having a blast.  Me, not so much.  Summer vacation is dreadful to have them around the house 24-7.  This is because of my broken stuff (my youngest keeps breaking things by accident) and because really...those 8 hours or so they are in school is a blessed relief with no sibbling fighting.  We go back to school Aug 15th (or so) and I am counting the days.

My oldest informed me today that my youngest brought two lego man masks (wolf masks that come with a costly set) to school and gave them away.  I am just now hearing about this.  These sets cost about $20 a piece and the BIG part of the set is actually the lego men themselves.

We had an issue last year with her bringing toys to school, and I thought we had nipped it in the bud.  Apparently not.  She was constantly being asked to bring her toys to school and GIVE them to certain kids.  I told her it was unacceptable the first time I caught her, and she supposedly stopped.  Turns out, she actually DID bring these masks to school even after being told not to.

Her reasoning is that her friends asked to borrow them, and so she let them borrow them.  This is some serious peer pressure.  They were obviously never returned.  I am furious that she defied my house rules, and has been punished accordingly. She will absolutely no longer bring toys to school.  I obviously didn't check her backpack close enough before school and didn't make absolutely sure she was NOT bringing the toys to school.  In her mind, her friends begged her for them...and being a good friend (who only saw them at school and not outside of school), she let them borrow them.

She even tried to convince me that these two boys Aiden and Johnathan would bring them back for her NEXT year.  I call bullshit on that one.  She didn't bring these the last day of school but sometime in the middle of the school year.  If they were going to return them, they would have done so already.

I am mainly furious at the PARENTS of these kids.  Why are these kids begging my daughter for her toys?  Why are they not being returned?  Yes, these are small items but I know everything that enters my house.  I check backpacks like no one's business.  I have caught both of my daughters trying to smuggle other people's toys into our house, and made them return them promptly.  As in, that day we brought it back to the teacher to be returned.  Backpacks were checked every day right after school, due to homework, and it was easy to catch.

So, I can only assume (what with the massive homework they got daily) that these parents LET their little shits KEEP these toys WILLINGLY.  How about people raise their children not to be selfish, spoiled, entitled brats?  What happened to the rule: if it doesn't belong to you, return it?  Essentially what these kids (and parents) did was STEAL toys.

My daughter is partially to blame, but I am placing a good 80% of the blame on the other kids and their shitty parents.  These kids shouldn't have been begging for her toys at school, to the extent that she broke MY house rules and brought them in.  These kids and their parents should have RETURNED the items.

The sad thing is that my daughter had to learn a hard lesson today.  We don't lend things out to other kids.  Ever.  She knows now what will happen.  She is mainly concerned she will never see the toys again, and I don't blame her for being upset about that.  I will check her backpack everyday before school, again, just to make sure it doesn't happen again.  That is MY job as a parent, and I failed once.  I will never fail again.

Edit:  I did some googling and according to MOST parents, they will keep the toys for their kids because it was a "fair trade".  Yet, my daughter got nothing in return.  You cannot excuse stealing.  These parents FAILED at parenting their children massively.  They taught them if they beg enough for something, they will get it.  It's not like these kids are POOR and NEED these toys.  They just wanted to be selfish brats and TAKE something that seemed cool and didn't belong to them.

My oldest would never do this.  She knows better.  At least my youngest has learned her lesson.  It won't happen again from OUR family.  But, I am sure OTHER families will fall into this black hole that is known as toy borrowing/trading.

Recurring Bartholian Cyst - Questions Answered (My Normal Life/Routine)

Okay, I am sure a lot of people have been wondering or have actually come right out and asked me some questions...so here my best response to them.  I've been asked a LOT of things about how I live my life through the constant struggle.

kristlenotanonymous asked me "how do you get thru the constant bedrest and discomfort and misery?"...well here is that response...

I will attempt to answer that as best as possible.  I mainly organized my life and ran with that.  I keep myself busy taking care of everyone, so that I don't have to worry about anything else.  If I have time to stop and think about things...that's when I start to REALLY get depressed and my husband has to step in.

If I had an issue with something, I came up with a solution.  Problems with the kids leaving a mess and you can't clean it because you're on bed rest?  Well, no problem...organize it!  Fix the problem.  Find a solution so you don't have to be there 24-7.

If you have kids, you damn well better be able to take care of them...because I am.  That's my logic anyways.

Otherwise...I suck up the pain.  Take a pain pill, get in the bath, and keep on going.  It sucks, but nothing sucks more then your house becoming uninhabitable or your kids feeling like they don't have a mother.

This is how I run my life...and I do run my life.  I divided my life into "good days" and "bad days".  My good days are used to help with the burden on a bad day.



Doctors

I don't let anyone open me up with that lidocain stuff anymore.  I make sure I am fully numb everywhere BEFORE they do anything.  I like to tell the ER staff a little lie that I am "immune to most numbing medications", thus they have to give me 2-3x the normal dose.  It usually works.  I also tend to do this at the dentist.  Doctors and dentists will sometimes to try "use as little as possible to get the job done".  I don't put up with that bullshit.  I even make sure they knock me out for a normal routine cleaning, because those hurt like hell.

My husband attends EVERY appointment I have.  I schedule these sometimes 3 months in advance.  He has a lot of patience, most of the time.  1) He knows by the time I am actually IN the doctor's office, that I am NOT a happy camper and I can't see down there to make sure no one is gonna "surprise" me with anything. 2) That has happened to me before - and I was so furious I got the doctor written up for what he did to me.  I consider "surprising" someone with a scalpel is akin to assault.  3) He knows after the injections, that it's hell to walk.  So he will actually drive the car around for me, get me a wheelchair, and help me into the house/car.

Before I found my doctor, I was going through absolute hell every time I had a cyst.  If you are a military spouse, and getting treated on a base...well, you get a different doctor every time you go in for an appointment.  These doctors are usually absolute shit.  I've never had a GOOD doctor on base, EVER.  Get one off post.  Do an "initial interview" with them.  Test them with questions about your condition.  I tested my current one.  She passed with flying colors.  Others suggested random surgeries to fix the problem, told me to "get over it", or other things.  I was even suggested to get a hysterectomy once, but I REALLY wanted my son (who was born 6 months ago)...so I told them old geezer to fuck off.

However, my doctor is OFF base.  My doctor is my saving grace.  She gets it.  She understands.  Other doctors wanted to keep opening me up for surgeries, but she told me absolutely not to.  Other doctors laughed at me, said my issue was all in my mind.  Uh huh...  I've been told I'm lying about my pain.  I've been told a lot of things, before this doctor.  This doctor CAME UP with the treatments I am getting.  She prescribed me narcotics for the "bad days".  She went to TOWN on me.  She investigated.  She did her damn job!

I DO get the alcohol injections every 6 months now (NEVER allowed while pregnant).  After the injections, I wait an hour and take a REALLY hot bath.  Think scolding.  My kids even take baths with me during the week (I take one once a night) when the water is not so hot for them.  We consider it "play time".  We do a LOT of "play time" things to make up for not being so active.

I recently was diagnosed 3 DAYS after giving birth with meningitis, severe postpartum pre-eclampsia, and  a slew of other issues that no one EVER diagnosed me with.  Having to go through a 3rd birth, with an active cyst, (again) was just too much for me.  I almost died.  If it wasn't for my doctor (who diagnosed me and FORCED the ER staff to admit me), I wouldn't be here.  (Just WAIT til you get something like meningitis with a bartholian cyst...it'll rock your pain world!)  Would you be surprised that the admitting ER doctor told me that "google doesn't have all the answers"?  LOL  Yup, that was said...even though my doctor called in advance and warned them about what I had.

My advice is ALWAYS to find a doctor that FITS you and KNOWS what they are doing.  Sadly, these types of doctors are VERY hard to find.




Clothing

My daily life is a lot of "allowances".  I put up with not being able to wear tight pants.  I actually wear dresses with wedges most of the time, when I am outside.  I do NOT wear underwear.  They are actually too tight on me.  But, you'd never know that unless you LOOKED.

Otherwise, I'm walking around in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.  Yup, that's ME.  I put out a persona that I am "super mom" to the outside world.  What?  You want to know what I wear?  Okay...think 60s mom dressed.  It's old-fashioned, but I get the "freedom" in my cyst area.  

I actually wear the teal and white polka-dotted one quite often.

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/2013-New-Fashion-Women-Maggie-Tang-50s-60s-Swing-Polka-dot-Dress-Pinup-Vintage-Rockabilly-Retro/1137488710.html?af=ppc&isdl=y&src=Google&albch=Google&albcp=Search_Search-ALL-PLA&albkw=None_US-Shopping-Search-Product-AliExpress_none_none&albag=home_none_Search-ALL-PLA_1013999999870&albmt=broad&albst=search-text&albom=OTHERS_None_20130807_Aliexpress&creative=31447451305&ptsid=1013999999870&gclid=CjgKEAjw2pSdBRCc5Or_vuWw7TgSJAA5txZgcCY_F5faug5m9EjdtX39n_eEvLpAuvp6f_HvDH8GffD_BwE

Though the blue one on here, is prettier and I don't have to worry about my shoulders maybe looking too chunky:  http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Vintage-Polka-Dots-Retro-50s-60s-Halter-swing-Pinup-Rockabilly-Housewife-Dress-/301192379231?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var&hash=item462076fb5f&_uhb=1

Don't even ask me where I came up with my shoulders looking chunky.  It just popped into my head one day and never left.

I have some tight pants that sometimes I will wear, but that is ONLY if I know I won't be out of the house long.  I also have t-shirts and shorts, for when I do yard work.  I usually wear flip flops when I am in "casual wear".




Relatives/Social Life

I explain over and over again to relatives what is wrong with me.  They still don't get it.  Even my own father thinks I'm nuts, and he can't wrap his head around this diagnosis.  I've explained it to my dad about twelve times since 2002.  Apparently, I have a LOT of patience to KEEP explaining this to people.

I have a great rapport with most of my friends and family.  My phone is always on when I am at home.  I am the "helper".  They have an issue or need to vent?  I am there.  I have a ROLE in their lives.  I didn't just check out.  I picked up NEW things to do while on bed rest.

My friends and family actually call me the "mom" of the family.  Apparently, I am a "mom" to everyone I know.

I only rarely go out on a date night with my kids/husband.  I do NOT do an out of the house date night with just my husband.  We usually order in, or he will pick up a to-go order for us to eat at home.  I don't really like restaurants, so this works for me.




Monitoring My Kids

I put up with having to entertain my kids from the bedroom.  We watch movies, shows, play music and I watch them dance, they play legos on my bed...etc...  I also put a baby monitor in my room, and my girls have walkie talkies on the same frequency...so I position those around the house.  This way, I can hear them wherever they are IN the house but not in my line of sight.

The kids can also hear me through the monitors/walkie talkies.  So, if they are being bad and fighting with each other...I can punish them accordingly.

My kids were actually raised to be self-sufficient.  They don't NEED me to make them food or play with them...etc.  But, most of the time I do it anyways.  My 8 year old can actually cook full meals, but I refuse to allow her to do this without supervision.  This is why...I do the already made meals.




School

My husband picks up a lot of my slack sometimes.  This past year was the first year I could actually sit in the car long enough to drive my youngest daughter to school and pick both of them up.  My eldest was ecstatic every time she saw me pick her up and my youngest was super excited whenever I dropped her off.  He used to do ALL of the school stuff.

My daughter's old school would NOT let him do field trips (because he's a man...?).  I had to do those.  I prepared for DAYS before the field trip.  I got a lot of rest, baths, and bed rest BEFORE the trip.  The day OF the trip, I take TWO pain pills.  (No one could even guess that I do this...)  If I feel a twinge of pain, I get another pill out and take it.  Yes, I used to go through my pain medications a lot faster because of this...but, it was ALL worth it.

I attend every parent conference.  EVERY SINGLE ONE.  I hate it, but I do it.  I schedule these immediately on the school's website for right after they get out of school.  This way, I know exactly when it is and have a choice.  I also make sure that if my husband is not with me, that he is on the phone with me (speaker phone is awesome).

My girls are fantastic at school.  We do homework on the bed, with their little pencil boxes (filled with stuff they need...pencils, sharpeners, scissors, crayons, markeys...etc) that I organize every August 1st for them.  They take these with them to school, and pull them out during homework time.  However, because of the amount of homework (our school gives out 10+ hours of homework every Monday, and the other days are about 3 hours of homework).

For their school clothes, I use a "good day" and set out their entire outfits for two weeks in advance.  I have the days and dates written on note cards, placed on top of their clothes.  I even pick out a hairstyle and clip/headband to go with the outfit.  I do each of their hair EVERY day, in bed or otherwise.  These clothes are known as being "Mommy approved".

Shoes are easy to do.  I keep those organized in black boxes by the front door.  Each person in the house has one.  Each person puts their shoes up in them.  Even my husband.  We store them in plain black boxes that only cost $15.00 per person, but I got them at a steal for $7.00 a piece.  http://www.walmart.com/ip/JaBox-Collapsible-Storage-Box/24372417

For projects like their science projects, those are actually started a year in advance.  Yes, it isn't mandatory...but we like to do things RIGHT.  I even started on my kids' science project for next year.  The pieces are stored in my computer room until completed.  Usually our science projects don't exceed $10.00 per kid.

My kids are always getting awards or having musicals too.  I attend every single one of them too.  Yes, it sucks sitting there and it hurts a lot.  But, I take a pain pill and ride it out.  My husband usually attends with me.  We video-tape EVERYTHING.  We also show up an hour before ANY event, so we get good seats and so he can help if the school needs it.

Teachers are always surprised that I am SO invested in my kids' lives.  The teachers have no idea about my health issues.  They compare me to normal moms and say that I am always the  best parent around.  Well, no shit, because I go out of my way to care for my children.

Last year, I even did parking enforcement for the school.  I became well-known in the school fairly easily because of this.  Now, even though my kids' are NOT in their classrooms, the teachers know me by name.  I am RESPECTED at that school.  (Not by the other parents, but whatever...)  Before, the teachers treated me like I was an 18 year old mom to a 7 year old...now, they know better.




Saving Money/Gifts

People are always wondering HOW I manage to do ALL of this...but it's simple.  I use a calendar (one that's in the kitchen for the entire family to see), and write on it what I want to accomplish in that day.  My calendars are legendary.  (For example: St. Patrick's Day classroom treats I scheduled in January.  Each Monday, I would make 5 treats - sometimes a lot more)

I run with the small things.  I make crafts in bed for their classrooms. Other moms are jealous of "how much time I have".  Right.  If they only knew how much it actually hurt to sit up like that and spend time on garbage for their little brats for EVERY holiday.  My kids learned quite a bit about crafts from me.  I am NOT even a craft person.  I will NEVER spend more then $1.00 per child, as we usually have to make 60 of each gift.  I shop cheap in advance, and make them WAY before they are due.  Then, I store them in my walk-in closet until we turn them in.

Mother's Day was a hand painted pot, with two flower pens...per child:






I make a LOT of presents for my own kids for their holidays.  I also start holidays/gifts WAY early.  I actually finished the costumes for the kids last week...and it's only July 2nd.  Birthdays and Christmas are ALWAYS a huge hit in my house.  I even make dresses and easy square quilts for my own kids by hand-stitching things in my bed.  The clippies, headbands, and other odd assortments I make...I actually used to sell for $10 a piece.  I don't do that anymore, because Ebay is full of scammers.  However, my kids LOVE their stuff I make them...and the other moms are always asking me how/when/where I got them.  Their jealousy keeps me going a LOT of the time.  (If only you met these other parents and their snots...you'd want to kill them all)  These moms are NORMAL, and yet...I manage to SURPASS them EVERY time.  I take a LOT of pride in that.







The kids also have a "craft rack", for all of their paper and extra goodies like crayons.  I also organized those in mini-storage containers.   It's just a normal metal rack, usually used in a laundry room, and I just organized it a bit for them.  I manage to get most of their craft stuff on sale, during the return to school sales.  We have tons of school supplies.  I even buy their coloring books at the dollar store.

I scour the internet for coupons and deals.  Bi-weekly at the grocery store, I am known to save over $100.00 on a $400 trip.  The cashiers even know me by sight and name now.  I am that infamous. ;P  In fact, my eldest and youngest birthdays just passed.  I used Kmart points out the butt...to order it all online.  I wound up getting FREE baby clothes for Christmas this year.  My son's presents are all done now.  (I already have his toys)  My youngest got all of her clothes for her birthday for FREE, too.  I'm a big fan of Kmart right now.

I also have an impressive food storage supply.  My entire garage has shelves that I place sealed containers on.  I even make our own pie fillings every year.  Once a fruit goes on sale, I buy some of it...usually not much, and can it on a good day.  So, when holidays come around...I am actually SAVING money by storing this food.  This is also good for if I can't go to the grocery store immediately when we get paid.  We always have food storage to draw from.

(Shelves:  http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-5-Shelf-Shelving-Unit-Light-Platinum/8282891?action=product_interest&action_type=title&placement_id=irs_middle&strategy=PWVUB&visitor_id=49324152495&category=0%3A4044%3A90828%3A656639&client_guid=ad5b6696-a1ce-4d18-b675-b0a768d57988&config_id=0&parent_item_id=8251818&guid=ab173cc7-b0ba-43a2-8248-2cdb0fa285f0&bucket_id=irsbucketdefault&findingMethod=p13n)

I also use two shelves strictly for cans.  I put soda on one shelf, and the other is used for canned goods like pasta sauce...or something that I didn't make but was on sale.  (Canned shelves looks like this...:  http://www.unoclean.com/RB-Wire-CRS4243672-Metal-Frame-Can-Storage-Dispensing-Rack-System-4-Tiers.aspx)


I store ALL of my holiday decorations (most made by me), in storage containers.  They are labelled with the holiday name and stored in the garage.  When a holiday is coming around, I just pull the storage box off the shelf and put it in the office until I can put up/take down decorations.  You should see my Christmas ones, I have 10 boxes easily for Christmas.

These are the ones I use, except bigger:  http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-16.5-Gallon-66-Quart-Latch-Storage-Box-Set-of-6/20699702
I chose clear, because I wanted to make sure that I could SEE what was in the boxes.  Just in case.

I store all of my sewing things in this:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-3-Drawer-Wide-Cart/16415880

Mine has 6 drawers and it is all labelled/organized.

My craft box is a disaster.  I am working on organizing that myself.  All my craft stuff is currently stored in a big storage container and placed in my living room.  Oi.  I definitely need a craft room.  I'm considering turning part of my office into a craft room.




Household Chores

I do NOT push myself.  I do sometimes, but I strive NOT to.  I space things out so that it can all get done.  I scoured the internet for some sort of bribe to get them to start doing it...but none of it helped me.  I actually wound up telling my kids once a month we will do something fun (sometimes it's Jump Zone, sometimes it's something at home) if they do their chores.  My eldest is an organized and clean freak like me, so she latched onto it.  My youngest girl only got involved because my oldest did.  The baby obviously can't do any chores.

Instead, I used my trusty calendar and wrote on there each and every day what I would be doing.  AKA EVERY day has at least ONE chore for me to do.  My house will NEVER look like a pig sty.  I have a calendar for chores ONLY.

The dishes, I will do a load a day.  Everyone in the house knows how to put their dishes immediately into the dishwasher.  Usually, I'll have to rearrange it, but it's still less work for me.  If the dishwasher is running or full, then they stack their dishes by the sink and I will do it the next time I go into the kitchen.

The laundry, a load a day.  I will fold two loads every other day.  Once the laundry is folded, I place the items on the stairs for the family to bring to their respective rooms.  I have laundry hampers in each room, and when there is no load in the washing machine - the girls gather it all and toss it in for me.  My oldest can actually start the washing machine and dryer by herself.

Mopping the floor is done once a week (Wed).  My kids can sweep and mop by themselves if needed.  However, I do a better job at it - so I try to do it myself.

The cat litter boxes are actually cleaned by my oldest daughter.  She knows how to clean them properly, and we set it up so it isn't that much work for her.  This gets done once every two days.

The puppy and cat food is done  by my youngest daughter.  We store both foods in huge old cat litter tubs, and she scoops it out into their bowls.  The bowls get washed once a week, by me.

Our puppy tends to poop and pee around the house.  We have tried everything we can to get her to stop doing this, but to no avail.  So, my girls are also in charge of picking up puppy poop once to twice a day.  I am in charge of washing the carpets, but my oldest knows how to do it.  I do this once a week.

I also air out the house once a week.  This involves opening all windows, lighting candles, turning on all fans, and spraying nice smelling disinfectant everywhere.

My kids help with chores.  1) It's easier on me.  2)  It teaches them personal responsibility.  3) My kids aren't going to turn into spoiled little shits.  My girls get two chores a day, and it helps immensely.

My girls know that every Wednesday is always a BIG clean up job for mommy.  I go into their rooms, make a pile in the hallway of stuff I want them to put up correctly.  They do it without fail, though sometimes need reminding.

These are just some of our chores we do around the house.




Yard Work

I fill my green compost can with weeds once a week during the summer.  I have been slowly been reviving my yard from the weed disaster, and I finally finished the front yard.  So, my hard work is showing.  I now have bushes in the front and my entire front yard is mulched.  I really should post some updated side by sides of that.

We actually get so many weeds every year that we easily spend $75 a month on weed killer, and have to pay someone to professional spray ($200) once a year.  Then, we need to reseed and go from there.  The original owners were college students with 4 kids, and literally didn't keep up the yard...we are paying for that.

I also fill the black trash can every day with trash.  I do this around noon, when everyone is either napping or playing (during the summer).  During school time, I usually take it out after bringing the girls home.  I also check the mail before I go get the kids from school.

I mow the lawn every Saturday, assuming my neighbors aren't having yet another party.  If they are having a party and parked in front of my house, I do it on the next available day.  I have resorted to putting the trash cans by the curb, so no one is parked outside my house when I need to mow (if you kick up a rock onto someone's wind shield, you have to pay for it).  No, my husband does not mow the lawn or take out the trash.  I do that.

My husband DOES do the heavy stuff in the yard, with a lot of bitching from me.  Last year, he leveled a few huge mounds of rocks/dirt we had in the yard to make it level.  Then, he watered and seeded the lawn.  He also planted our bushes this year.


Work

I work part time at home.  I also do swagbucks online, and make easily about $75 a month, which I use for gifts.  I usually use this money on "fun things" too.  I usually use part of this money to reward my kids for being good with their chores (or being good in general), or for fun.  For example, this August we will be going to a massive water slide place.  I have already earned enough for admission and for our food while there.  We will also probably be staying in a hotel, so I am currently finishing up affording the hotel.

I used to work, but it never lasts long once I am outside the house.  It was too painful going to work, so I absolutely couldn't do it.  I don't attempt to work anymore.  The longest I have lasted at a job, since diagnosed, was 3 years (full time).  That was mainly due to working in a call center and not having to move around too much.  I put puzzles together in my spare time between phone calls, to take my mind off of the pain.

My girls were actually very emotional the last time I worked (exactly one year ago).  They would cry hysterically when I dropped them off at school.  They HATED me working.  After a while, it became too much for me.  I don't deal with coworker bullshit well, and I didn't need the money...so fuck working if my kids' hate me working.

I recently enrolled in school again.  I am going to take ONE class to start with and get a degree in social work.  This will all be done online.  I *think* I can handle being a social worker. I used to be an ADA that specialized in child abuse, so this would be right up my alley with less stress.

I do have two degrees, however my credits are either non-transferable or too old to be used.  So, I have to start from scratch.  Not many people understand that once you haven't been to college OR used your degrees in such a long time...that they are pretty much worthless and you won't get hired because of the, unless you want to do the same EXACT thing you were doing before.

Thus, I have to start over and am hoping to start taking more the one class eventually.  Yes, it will take a long time.  However, I am hoping that eventually I will be able to up the classes over time and work my way up to being full time student.





Feeding Your Kids

You want to know how I can feed my kids while I am on bed rest?  That was simple.  I make their meals in little storage containers.  (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Rubbermaid-Easy-Find-Lids-24-Piece-Plus-4-Food-Storage-Set/16550121) 

On a good day, I will make enough meals for 2 weeks in advance.  My little "fridge snacks" always have a sandwich, a snack (cookies, muffins, or chips), and a drink.  I also make "closet snacks", which are "fillers" for in between meals. For breakfast, I divide up the cereal into plastic bags.  I also put milk into old little water bottles.  My girls know to get a baggie of cereal and a "milk bottle" for breakfast, on their own.  If my kids are hungry before dinner, I tell them which type of snack to get.  (My sister has a 10 and 8 year old, she was in awe of how I do this...and surprised she never thought of it first...)

EVERY Sunday, I ALWAYS make pancakes for my kids.  Without fail.  I also park my butt on the couch, and we watch some cartoons while we eat.  Every Wednesday is game night.  Park my butt on the couch, we play a viscous game of sorry..or whatever they decide.  Every Friday is movie night.  Park my butt on the couch, tell the girls to get their popcorn snack baggies (pre-made) and we all watch a movie as a family.

I also do things on a good day, like making 4 dozen muffins, cookies, or cupcakes.  I store these in sealed containers in the fridge.  I take out a small plate and place them on the island.  These are always up for grabs.  Sometimes, I will drag out my pie making skills and pre-slice the pies onto plates.

We also do big batches of things like home made chili, or home made chicken soup.  I divide these up into portions and store them in either the freezer or the fridge.

My kids know how to use the microwave, and they are allowed to do that without my help.  My kids will ask me how long something needs to be heated up for, and they have an instant-meal.

The ONLY chore my husband really has around the house, besides helping with the baby/kids, is dinner.  I do NOT do dinner.




Having A Baby

My son is what you'd consider an angel baby.  He is currently 6 months old, and only cries when he has a dirty diaper or when he is hungry.  Otherwise, he is smiles all the time.

I pre-planned for him to have colic.  I made sure that any type of formula I had, that it would be for colic.  I also made sure to have gas drops and all types of things for him, when he was born.  Yes, these are stored in mini-color coded boxes for him...and they are labelled.

I premake bottles.  I put together actual bottles during the morning, and make about 5 a day.  If needed, I keep bottles on my counter with formula already divided up into them.  The formula doesn't go old when sitting in the bottles, because I put the bottle tops on them and don't add the water.  We use the ones closest to the edge of the counter first, this way...we don't have a bottle sitting out forever and then some.

My son's diapers are stored in/on shelves around the house.  I have three floors in my house, so I keep some diapers/wet wipes/extra formula cans in my bathroom, living room, and his room.  This covers all floors of the house, and we don't need to run around the house.  I also keep blankets and spit up cloths in all of these rooms, just in case he is tired or sick.

His bathroom, attached to his bedroom downstairs, keeps his medicine organized and all of his bath stuff.  We also store extra bath stuff in the linen closet near the girls' bathroom.

His toys are organized on shelves and in color-coded boxes too.  His clothes are sorted and organized in a dresser.

Even his baby wash cloths and his socks are organized into color coded mini-boxes.

When he needs a bath, he usually takes one with me.  Sometimes, like three times a week, my girls ask me if they can do it.  I allow them to do this now, without supervision.  They handle it quickly and play with him a lot during tub time.  Yes, I do randomly check on them and am always not far away.

I also have a swing in my bedroom.  I have a bouncy jumper seat in my bedroom and one downstairs in the playroom doorway.  I'd like to get one for the living room dividing wall between the living room and kitchen, but the dividing wall won't hold a bouncy jumper seat.  So, instead, I put a normal rolly chair in the living room and use his high chair for the kitchen.

My son is actually easily entertained.  He enjoys watching me do things, so I can put him somewhere and he is fine as long as he can see me.

Sometimes he has his cranky moments, but those are rare.  He just mainly wants attention....as with all babies.




Toys/Playroom

We actually have a huge playroom for the kids.  It's the size of three bedrooms combined and all wide open.  I put a huge TV in there (which they only get to watch with permission), and organized the shit out of it.  There is a couch, mini-kitchen (with tons of toys), their play shelves, a small coffee table for them to play on, and a slew of other things.

My girls can read, so we labelled EVERYTHING.  We store their toys on these type of shelves:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/ClosetMaid-Cubeicals-9-Cube-Organizer-White/22301286

We actually have 4 of those REALLY big shelves around the playroom, and it's all labelled and organized for each child.

I use these boxes for their different types of toys:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Better-Homes-and-Gardens-Collapsible-Fabric-Storage-Cube-Set-of-2/33601205

Each child has color-coded boxes.  My oldest girl is bright blue.  My youngest daughter is pink.  My son is green.  For boxes that contain things that ALL of them can use (like books or mini-kitchen...), those are tan.

When it is clean up time, the kids know to put their toys away in their correct boxes.  Once every two months, I go through the boxes myself and make sure they are keeping to the organization.




Bathrooms
I use mini-boxes for their medicine.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Honey-Can-Do-6-Pack-Mini-Non-Woven-Foldable-Cube-Aqua/21958273

Once again, we use the color-code method on their boxes.

I use storage containers for their clippies/headbands, which are also stored in their bathrooms underneath their sink.  Mini-storage containers for their necklaces/bracelets.  I am actually thinking of changing this to a clippie holder that I will make, instead.

I even made them toothbrush holders.  These are NOT color-coded, but their toothbrushes are the correct color for whichever kid.  (I also keep extra tooth brushes in MY bathroom, just in case)

I also made each child a towel that can wrap around and be buttoned, which are hung on pegs behind the bathroom door.  These are also color-coded, and were given to them for Christmas last year.

My girls know how to clean their own bathroom, completely.  Once a month, I make them clean the toilets.  My oldest actually enjoys toilet cleaning.  Odd, I know.




I think that about covers it.  I do a billion things from my bedroom to make up for the disaster that is my health.  THAT is how I deal with all of this.  I fixed a lot of problems because of my bed rest issues, and I still play an active role in my family's life.  I actually wind up doing close to 99% of the work around the house/yard.  This bothers me sometimes, but really...without it...I'd drop into instant misery and hate my life immensely.

I am the micro-manager of my world and family.  I do it ALL, and every day - even though I am in constant pain - I am PROUD of what I accomplish.

I am PROUD to have survived meningitis.  Almost dying changes your outlook on EVERYTHING.  Because of that, I don't put up with bullshit and I LOVE my life.  No matter how much pain is involved.

If there are any other questions, let me know.



Edit:  Also, to the other stay at home moms with normal health and no issues...I'd like to say this.  You may come up with better crafts or have a prettier house then I do, but I'm massively ill.  How does that make you feel?  Because, to me, it makes me feel pretty fucking amazing to be compared to a NORMAL person and usually coming out the better.

To the woman who commented that she does all this and then some for her kids, without health problems, you suck at your mom job.  If someone as sick as me can do all of this, without any help from family/friends/husband.  Then you should get off your ass and start doing a BETTER job at raising your kids.  Because, I sure as hell have you fucking beat.

To my neighbors and other parents in my small town, kiss my ass.  99% of the other kids that live here, are spoiled rotten little shits.  You should have NEVER had kids if you can't take care of them and RAISE them correctly.