Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Update to 2016!

It has been a very long time since I have posted.  I will attempt to update as best as possible.  I have 4 children now.  My youngest just turned one a few months ago.  Then my son, who is two and a half, and my two older girls.

I still do the class gifts and room parent it up.  I still notice a lot of entitled asshole parents.  I still notice the lazy teachers, and the shitty kids.  I see a lot of random bullshit in my day to day life, especially now that we live in small town Southern USA.

A few changes in the past few years:  I am now considered handicapped, and cannot stand for long periods of time.  This is mainly due to breaking my hip during the last two pregnancies.  Full on breaking my hip.  My femur dislocated from the socket in my hip, and refused to go back in.  It was extremely painful and happened too many times to count.  Something about a hormone called relaxin, and causing it.  I was supposed to be fully healed after my pregnancies, but that did not happen.  I did read an article of a woman in a similar situation as me.  So, yeah, sometimes I am in a wheelchair or parking in a handicapped spot now.

I still have the memory issues from the meningitis.  I still have the seizures, and I still take medication for a slew of left over symptoms of it.  My husband does not have to coddle me anymore, which is nice, but he does let me take it easy on random days.

We have since moved away from Utah, and our house is on the market.  We were renting a piece of shit place in small town Georgia, near our in-laws (fuck me).  Every room in the house would leak from the shoddy roof, the electrical wires were hanging out (yet craftily hidden behind furniture when we viewed the place), infested with tree roaches...which caused brown recluses to infest the place, the support beams were failing, and the car port was constantly flooded...which the landlord blamed on the city (carport is too far on the property for it to be the city's responsibility).  Basically, we lived in a slum rental home with a slumlord.

Said slumlord decided to try to sell the house we were living in, and we made sure to LEGALLY tell the prospective buyers what was wrong with the house.  He had it listed for $110k (800 sq ft, 1/5th an acre of land, ghetto area, needing more than $50k in repairs) and never sold it.  It is worth maybe $40k, tops.  Because he couldn't sell the place, he decided to give us two weeks notice to move out so that he could do the repairs we had been begging him to do - for months.  So, it's completely fine to have us living in such a disgusting place...but not when he's trying to sell it.  Within 2 weeks, we have moved into our new rental.  The old place is currently being cleaned professionally and we expect to complete our move by the 1st of August.  We expect our entire rental deposit back, because fuck him.  (Also: in Georgia, if you are a month to month tenant...the landlord is required to give you 60 days notice to leave...we almost had to enforce this.)

Our ILs were useful for once (as they never did anything for us until now that was positive), and found us this place to live.  Most places in town were requiring a $5k security deposit, the extent of basically putting a down payment on a home we were going to buy.  Not worth it.

As previously mentioned, we are in the middle of our transition.  The old rental has been broken into three times in between trips from one house to the other.  We were only gone maybe an hour in between trips, so they were watching.  Black ghetto is right behind the old house, and word traveled fast that we were moving out.  So far our ocean fishing rods and several other costly things have been stolen.  We have no hope of recouping any of our items.  They were casing the old rental even last night, so we are constantly trying to just finish over there quickly...so that we never have to go back.  All we have left in the old place are things that are definitely too heavy to take out, but we plan on removing those things today.

Also...fuck black lives matter.  Our small town is situated in the middle of two major cities, where the riots happen constantly.  They are currently holding signs up that say "lynch all white people", trying to tip cars over (even if your kids are in them), and destroying things constantly.  Kind of ironic, considering black people are the ones that broke into our house.  I fully agree that color has nothing to do with how someone acts.  There are worthless people in society of all colors of the spectrum.  However, the movement has morphed down here into a full on race war between black people and white people.  All lives matter.

So, we now live in another rental, that is 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a historic house.  It's on the edge of town, where we still can get the Verizon 4G internet and are surrounded by cows.  No one for miles around.  It's very peaceful, though I fully expect our puppy to anger the beef cows one day.

We lent my MIL our truck, and she dented the entire back gate of it.  We stayed with her when we first got here, and wasted a good $3k paying her bills for her over the course of two weeks.  My son and I were assaulted by her new husband, whom everyone hates.  Basically, a joy to be around...so we avoid them.  MIL is not so bad when she is alone, and can be extremely nice...  However, the new husband is constantly calling me a whore and "not real family".  So, that's fun.

The school system here is similar to the one in Utah.  The primary school (Pre-k to 2nd grade) staff was completely overhauled this past year, and thus the staff was filled with a bunch of assholes that had no idea what the hell they were doing.  The kids were not allowed to dress up for Halloween in school, for example, due to the principal's religious preferences.

Kid #2's teacher was nice, but her councilor called CPS on us because and I quote "she didn't know us".  She told CPS that my husband was molesting my daughter, with zero evidence to back up her claims.  It was thrown out immediately, and the "councilor" was turned into a joke at the school.  (Probably also helped that I am a prior assistant district attorney, that specialized in child abuse...and have plenty of friends in CPS across the USA.)  This happened our first week of school, naturally things went downhill from there.  The principal went on to explain later on in the year, that she only "approved" the call because she had never met me before.

(My husband thinks it's because I am very northern.  So, she has no idea who our family connections were and was just trying to be a bitch.  This is not uncommon in the south.  They use CPS as a weapon here.)

Obviously, my husband is not molesting my child.  He was enraged by this and our opinion of that school completely dropped.  We had my daughter checked with a licensed doctor, therapist, and any place we could...to prove she was not being molested.  We were told our daughter is a "normal kid", and everyone was baffled by the call.

I did absolutely nothing for this school while my daughter attended there, but I did help out the other school.  I was room parent for 4 different classes, even though my kid was only in 1 class.  Other parents dropped the ball big time.  However, the other school is light years better than the primary school.  My oldest was /gasp, learning things.  My youngest was learning little to nothing in school, and we contemplated just home schooling her for the year.  In the end, we decided it was only a year and I could teach her at home.  We wanted her to try to socialize.

Otherwise, the year went on, and we did the best we could to try to continue to live in peace.  Which was interesting, because here it's a "who you know" as opposed to "did you earn it" mentality.  For instance:  The school pick-up routine takes roughly 3 hours between both schools.  Most parents show up 2 hours early and wait in line.  One woman thought she was better than everyone else, and at the end of the year decided to have a hissy fit and declare she should have a spot reserved in line for her.

My SIL (the one I mentioned before) was knocked up by some dude she was "dating" for 2 weeks.  She started going on nightly binge drinking and having the cops called on her.  She was using Tinder and other apps on her phone to go on dates with guys, and get them to buy her things.  She was proud of this behavior.  She was continuing her partying and even going so far as to call the cops to remove her mother from her own house, under the guise of it being "too stressful on her baby".  The cops shut that shit down immediately, but MIL still was dropped off at our house really late on my birthday.

We realized rather quickly that our ILs are basically fucked up individuals and we want nothing to do with majority of them.  The fit the definition of "trailer park redneck trash" completely, and are stuck living in drama land.  It's almost like majority of them either did or didn't graduate high school and mentally got stuck there.

SIL has since had her baby, named it something completely fucked up (seriously...) and now claims she is a better mother than I am because she had her child via c-section.  You heard that right.  She was in labor 45 minutes, before begging the doctors for a c-section, which they did.  She now claims that vaginal delivery is for pussies, basically, and only a good mother would have a c-section.  I tried to explain that no matter how you have your kid, it's going to hurt either way...and the way you have your child has no bearing on how good of a parent you will be...but she ignored me and continued to insult me to my face, my husband's face, and spread to everyone around town how she is "super mom" for having her c-section.  I've stopped talking to her, because holy shit...the logic is gone.  She is definitely a narcissist and attention needy.

SIL also claims that the baby had "super colic", which is not true.  She was going to take the baby to the ER for it, but my husband burped the baby and it was fine.  She drinks, does weed, and god knows what else while half-breastfeeding, half-formula.  She didn't own a car seat for the first 3 months that the kid was alive, so we lent her ours...and then my husband had to demand for it back.

His cousin, the one they call Bae Bae (seriously, she's a cocaine/heroin user who acts like a baby), also called CPS on us when we didn't invite her kids to my other kids' bday party.  Her claim was that we beat our children with a metal spatula.  We don't even own a metal spatula, and it was dismissed.  She denies she called, but CPS told me who called so...fuck her.  Like I said, people down here call CPS and use it as a weapon.  (So far, aside from us, the family has been nonstop calling CPS on other people.  In the past year, they have called CPS on each other about 45 times.  An insane amount.)  Supposedly, this is a thing down here.  Bae Bae lives in a trailer, ran her electric bill up $2k in a month and begged us for help.  We declined to help, especially after she was a spiteful bitch.

Other SIL is best friends with Bae Bae, and we have always avoided her.  She may have some logic, but if you are best friends with the family psycho...well...that says a lot about her as a person.  My husband was of the opinion to completely cut out majority of his family, and  I had to agree after meeting/dealing with most of them.

For the record:  The only time my husband and I fight are when we are very stressed over his family (bad SIL and MIL).  We get along great unless it involves his family causing some kind of drama.  We've both decided to do the "southern niceness" towards his family, and not get involved in any way or have any opinions.  If they start drama, we leave the vicinity immediately.

My X has gotten married to the skank that he cheated on me with, when I was pregnant with kid #1.  I'm not a fan of hers, but keep the peace.  I do not make waves in their relationship and so far nothing has changed in regards to his random visits.

Thus, we are now very happy living in the middle of nowhere - on the edge of town.  We avoid anyone toxic, and mainly keep to ourselves.  School starts soon, and I fully expect to have to deal with shitty kids and their parents again.  I am letting the kids ride the bus this year (they get picked up from our driveway), and avoiding socializing as much as possible.

We are currently looking for our forever home in the middle of nowhere, on at least 15 acres, that receives the 4G internet, and is big enough for our family.  We expect to be fully 100% sustainable within a year of moving in.  We want to basically retreat from society, and only send the kids to school.  My husband and I work from home, so we want to never deal with people ever again.  (Utah house is still on the market, and very close to selling)  We've found a few prospects, but we aren't ready to do the leap into buying a home just yet.

We have also decided to stop helping people as much as we did before.  So, while I might do some things for their schools or randomly help out GMIL (who is very sick)...we won't be helping anyone else out.  We've decided to watch the world burn from a distance.

So yeah... a lot of stuff has happened...and it's only been a year.  Who knows what will happen this next year.  Hopefully, not too much, as we are avoiding the drama as much as possible.

Edit:  I actually kept most of this drama updated in real time on https://voat.co/v/justnomil and https://voat.co/v/justnofamily.  I went into more detail there.

Update:  I wanted to update this post.  The original rental that we were living in was an infested roach haven.  Not only was the roof leaking, there were black widow spiders everywhere, and tree roached.  There were also German cockroaches, which we managed to bring with us to the new place and had to have the new place exterminated numerous times.  I wound up throwing out even MORE things at the end of the year.

It also had a car port that flooded constantly, and the owner/landlord refused to have it fixed claiming it was an issue with the "city".  However, after speaking to the city about it...they claimed that the owner knew it was too far back on the property for them to do anything with, and was up to him to fix.  These issues plus the issue of no AC (it broke and was never fixed), was a great reason to get out of that place.

The owner originally listed the house for $90k, but he has dropped it numerous times.  We never received our security deposit back (he claimed he needed to repaint the entire house, which would cost the entirety of our deposit - bullshit).  The old rental is still for sale.  http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1090-Commerce-St-Madison-GA-30650/105345774_zpid/

I do not recommend buying this place, not even at the reduced price.  The entire neighborhood is infested with varying kinds of roaches.  The property itself backs up to the "ghetto trailer park/apartment" areas, so we'd be constantly finding things like flip flops or trash in the yard that were not ours.  At one point, we even had the police section off the neighborhood looking for someone who had run from the police...he was hiding in the laundry room.  You know, with the broken lock on the laundry room door that was never fixed.