Science Fair From Hell

We were officially told about the science fair around Feb 26th and it was TODAY April 10th.  It was optional for both of my kids (Kindergarten and 2nd grade).  However, the 2nd grade teacher plowed into my daughter's head with the idea of how awesome it was...and I was stuck helping with TWO projects for the science fair.  Because you know, my youngest didn't want to be left out.  (Thank god my baby is only 4 months old.  Phew!)

I refused to do anything but help them when needed, and make the poster boards/writing pretty.  Everything was done by them.  You want what on your poster board?  Okay...fish...it...is...  (My other daughter wanted skulls, I did bones instead since I suck at drawing skulls)  They helped or did EVERYTHING.  We had 45 days to do it.  We spent every fucking day working on these damn things.  I'm really not kidding.  When we weren't working on these things, we were thinking about how to make it better.

By the time the night before science fair arrived, our projects were damn spectacular and almost all done by the kids themselves.  I was just the technical work bitch.  Seriously.  THEY picked their projects.  NOT me.  I was just the sounding board.  "Yeah, that's cool...we could try this for that...or....do this maybe?"

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My oldest picked to do Hydroponics: Soil vs. Water.  We went with growing 3 different types of bean plants.  Three in the potting soil in pots, and three in the hydroponics system.  We grabbed a smallish plastic fish tank from the local Walmart, used pipe cleaners to make three slots for our bean plants, and finally added the bean in their cute little containers into it.  Later, I'll glue on fake fish to the tank since we can't use real animals (or food or...everything...) to make it look more realistic.  She watered it everyday for 14 days, and measured each plant to see which ones were growing better.  I left her original data on the table, and even rewrote it for her so it was more legible.  My husband made a chart for her, that she really really really wanted.  She told us everything to write for the hypothesis, summary, etc etc (there were 10 categories to fill in and even my husband was thinking "Wtf...how are kids supposed to fill all this out...and most of it is the same damn question...").  It turned out great and we are going to use the beans for dinner one night, eventually.  Total money spent?  $20.00

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My youngest was going to do Velociraptor: Can They Be Cloned...but after a week about DNA and blood, she got really bored...so we swapped it to Velociraptor: Fossils.  We made an entire Raptor skeleton, researched the hell out of raptors (even watching the Jurassic Park movies twice), made a fossil sifting box (box, potting soil, dirt sifter made out of chicken wire and pipe cleaners, and some paint brushes), added two pieces of amber, a real raptor claw, a crystal, and a shell or two.  Hers was amazing too.  We did a ton more work for this one, and I totally expected it to win over the other one.  She even made little flash cards for the table, that people could look at to read different information about the different bones and pertinent facts about finding/digging up/what they mean to scientists facts.  Total money spent? $30.00

The raptor one was a fucking HIT!  Kids loved it.  It entertained the damn masses.  Ours was the only projects kids could touch, but to touch a real raptor claw AND dig in the dirt?  AWESOME!  I know...I know.  It was great.  Other parents openly admitting to helping their kids with their projects, so much that they didn't want them destroyed.  Us?  Fuck it.  My kids did the work, they made it...it's kid friendly.  Have at it.

Parents were impressed by how much my daughter knew about real raptors, and how the only skeletons were ever found.  It was great!  So great, that other kids tried to steal parts of her project.  One kid tried to steal a rib cage, and I eventually found it near their fossil project (I snatched it back).  Another made off with a femur, and we have no idea the whereabouts...  So not only was it fucking cool, and not just a boring old fossil project...it was good enough to steal parts of it!  Cool!  We did great!



Or...so we thought....



Let me tell you how my day went.  We showed up at the school at 6:30am and had to ask where they were doing the science project set up, as it was going to start at 12:15 and we needed to know if had to bring in the projects NOW or right before science fair.  We are told anytime before 12:15.  Okay...I drop off kidlet one and go back to bed at home.  We were up all night the night before double checking projects, and all of us are tired as fuck.  Wake up at 11:00 and get all the projects, husband, baby and second kidlet into car.  Go to set it all up, and they send us to the wrong place (we were originally told gym, but later turned into the red media room...then back to gym again).  Whatever.  Husband passes out in the car.  So baby is with me while I guard the fuck out of our projects.

It was a massive mind fuck trying to figure shit out.  No assigned tables.  I'm one of three parents helping.  The other two are a married couple who just moved here.  Even the PTA (whom I despise for their recent cattiness during Mommy's for Muffins Day) was NOT helping other kids set up.  We set up tables, set up projects, moved tables, etc.  So we were working our butts off.  Those two were good people.  Obviously, because they aren't locals.  The locals here are all screwed in the head.

Have to ask where the tables are at around 12:10.  Where am I supposed to set this up??  They get ONE table, and I set it all up.  This is when I start setting up other tables.  I think my kids are going to be in the gym at any minute to start explaining to other students their project.  I am WRONG.  Only the 5th graders are allowed to stay and miss class.  Fuck.  I am now required to stay in the gym and keep telling people "Yes, you can touch it" "This is this, and she did that".  I do this until 2:30pm.  Yes, my kids do come into the gym to show off for a total of about 15 minutes.  I am guarding the FUCK out of these projects by 2:30pm, obviously because of the thefts.

I HAVE noticed by now that the other projects, ALL of them but one (it was a good one too!) were fucking absolute SHIT.  I mean, as in...some can't stand up.  Some don't have anything to display.  Most are written in crayon and you have no idea what the fuck the project is.  The requirements/questions we had to answer aren't even on ANY of them.  Majority of them are projects that can be done in ten minutes.  100% (minus ours) are shit we have ALL seen before.  Boring.  Almost all of the projects are falling apart around us.

Once they get set up, it's just like a disaster of supposedly science project poster boards.  Some had huge holes in them, and had to be lain down.  Some had scribbles on them, that looked like a 3 yr old got at it.  Most of them are just obnoxiously terrible and not even good.  (The only somewhat good one was a water condensation project...I will admit that if it beat my kids, I wouldn't even mind.  The others though?  HA!  Not even close!)  I am VERY proud of my girls by now.  I am beaming with my biggest mom smile in the world.  People and kids passing are all impressed by my kidlets.  Hell, even I'm damn impressed.

I took some pictures of other projects, for future reference.  I also wanted to show people what we were up against in our grade level.  I wanted proof, just in case something happened.  Something usually happens, and I was worrying.  I wanted to show my husband that we did fantastic compared to everyone else.  That out of ALL the projects, ours actually LOOKS like it took all 45 days to make and do.  Oh boy, did they ever take that long.

The PTA moms are being assholes by the time school is out.  I mean, as in standing near my daughters and their project while talking shit about them.  It was blatant.  It was rude.  It was cruel.  They are saying things like my girls didn't work hard and their mom did all of the work.  They are glaring at my kids.  They are LOUD.  My kids didn't even pick their projects.  They are being NASTY.  I told my girls to ignore them, and eventually the hyena pack dissipates.  I breathe a massive sigh of relief.  I don't have to watch my kids listen to their garbage and see their upset faces. (My oldest wanted to loudly say that SHE did all the work!)

The judges are in the room by now and school is out.  We all get told it's time to leave the gym and to come back later.  I am NOW required to ask said judges to please judge their projects so that we can take some of it home with us, so no one steals anything else.  They graciously do this.

Unfortunately, my eldest is super shy and my youngest has diarrhea of the mouth (she says everything but what she is supposed to say!).  Good thing I prompt both of them with "Tell them what you did and what you learned".  I did NOT answer FOR them.  Phew.  Crisis averted!  They both do fantastic!  The judges however, don't even bother to look at everything on the table for my daughter's raptor stuff.  I noticed that.  I also noticed they seemed bored.  WTF.  She is talking about how the fossils told her that REAL raptors were covered in feathers.  FFS!  Not many people know this!

We leave and then come back at 6:10 (Parents show up at 6:30, and awards are given out between then and 7:30).  While we are gone, I am informing my children that even if we didn't win that it's not a big deal.  (I don't even DARE to comment what happens if only one child loses...fuck...I should have)  I tell them that I was happy to just be spending time with them and helping them learn.  They agree that we had a lot of fun.

Though science "projects" are really nothing new in our house, this was our time to show off our mad skills.  And...boy did we do that!  We outshone everyone.  I mean, everyone.  I told them that regardless of what the harpies were saying, that they did fantastic and to make sure they tell everyone what a good job THEY did..because mommy didn't really help besides the pretty shit.  Really, you tell me what Kindergartner can write full fucking paragraphs for a science project.  That's a damn stretch at best.

My kids run off to look at the other kids in their grades' projects when we get back to the school.  My youngest has two competitors.  There is her awesome as fuck project, a soda bottle tornado that does NOT have the poster board (took maybe 10 minutes to duct tape that shit together), a CARDBOARD volcano with a poster board that won't even stand up and doesn't even erupt.  The other two are a mess.  I just KNOW we won...but something feel off....

**Later I will recall how a professor from Utah State was interrogating my eldest on her hydroponics.  He completely ignored my other daughter.  He glanced at the title and kept walking.  He was a silent judge.  I guess he thought fossils was boring?  He should have at least talked to her, or LOOKED at the damn thing.**

My oldest has three competitors.  A girl and her mother, whom later admits that she did the entire project, did an apple in vinegar...which you weren't supposed to bring food...and they did.  Some girl changing milk into different colors (there were FIVE other of these projects).  One other project I can't remember.  Not important.

Principal makes an announcement that parents (meaning us) ONLY helped with the poster boards and to make it look pretty.  They then hand out the awards.

My oldest wins for her hydroponics system.  Score!  So does the apple in vinegar shit...  What are we rewarding breaking the rules now?  Bullshit.

My youngest's name doesn't get called.  She doesn't win.  I am astonished.  I'm staring at her to see if she noticed.  She does.

Her cry of horror and pain is one I have NEVER heard before.  It was horrible!  I will never forget it.  Her heart broke right in front of my eyes.  She was sobbing hysterically.  I had to take her out of the gym and into a hallway.  Her sister had won (and she had even helped with that project too) and she had not.  She told me that she didn't understand because she worked so hard on it.  I told her that winning doesn't matter, and that we would discuss it at home.

She eventually calms down, but tears are streaming down both my girls' faces when my eldest realizes (with horror) what has happened.  Parents are walking up to us, telling my kids how impressive their projects are...and that just makes it worse.  So, I pack it ALL up and we leave almost immediately.  It's sad when every fucking adult in their lives, and even some damn strangers who they were competing again, are saying what a fucking awesome job they did.

Would you like to know which project beat out my daughter's awesome one?  I would too.  Either no one won at all for Kindergarten OR.....The tornado in a bottle, that had no data, no poster board, and was just two bottles duct taped together with some water in it.  Bull Fucking Shit.  I'm really not kidding.  My daughter is going to find out tomorrow at school, if I don't first.

We have a long talk about fairness when we get home.  We talk about how their projects were amazing, and how proud of them I am.  We also talk about what happened and why it did.  My theory?  Either they didn't want to award prizes to TWO kids in one family OR the PTA moms flipped a shit when they saw our projects and immediately started shit.  I am going for the PTA moms, due to their reactions earlier.

My daughter has officially been punished for being amazing.

I am making a copy of my other daughter's award, and putting my youngest's name on it.  They will both be spoiled tomorrow, for such a damn good job.

Our conclusion is this:  We do science projects at home all the time.  The ONLY reason to bring one in for something like this would be to show it off.  There is no point in showing it off.  I WILL save my daughter's a heart break later on.  I will NOT do another damn thing for this school.  Next year no more volunteering, no more helping, no more voluntary science projects, no more class goodies for EVERY fucking holiday (when the damn parents complain that their 8 yr old might choke on a fucking tootsie roll), no more BULLSHIT.

We will keep our shit to ourselves.  Those PTA moms want to be bitches and take it out on my kids?  Fuck them.  We're done.  My daughters will be MUCH happier NOT dealing with this shit.



Update:

Just re-watched the video I made of the awards being handed out. The PTA moms' kids won Kindergarten. You can hear the harpies cheering behind me, VERY loudly. Yes, that is what happened. After they were acting like total shits to my kids all day...and the principal made that announcement...my daughter was either disqualified (and I wasn't told) or her scores/project were ignored because of the harpies' complaints.

...Both the cardboard volcano that didn't erupt, AND the tornado in a bottle without the poster board won. Neither one of those kids were required to explain their project either, like mine were.

Yup...

I will not be telling my kids that this is what happened. I am not surprised either. After what that group of harpies was saying right in front of my kids...I should have expected it.

When people say that "it's a life lesson", or similar shit. What you are doing is called VICTIM BLAMING. My FIVE yr old was BULLIED by grown ass adults. This is NOT politics, this is BULLYING



Update #2:

These are my final thoughts....

I have not shown my kids my anger. This is my blog and where I sometimes vent my own grown up anger at things. This is what ALL people do. They have emotions, and if you don't show them...then something is WRONG with you. Walking around my house constantly pretending that I'm not angry about this, is actually really tiring. I'm putting all of my anger here instead of in front of my children. (Don't get me wrong, my kids are pissed too...but they have a RIGHT to be pissed and I won't tell them to "grow up and life isn't fair" in response)

My youngest (the one that lost) is VERY logical. She figured out on her own that it was unfair immediately. Because of this, she was in tears this morning and all through the night (my oldest was crying too). I calmed her down enough to send her to school, and told her not to give the harpies the satisfaction of seeing her upset. She did a fantastic job, and she was shit on. She has a right to feel the way she feels.

As per releasing my anger at such an injustice on a blog, that in no way attests to 1) how I am raising my children, 2) that they had seen said anger, 3) that I should not be pissed about this (I SHOULD be pissed about this, and if I wasn't...I'm a terrible parent), 4) that this is only about losing (she has lost before, and was fine with it), and 5) releasing my anger, actually makes the situation for me better (If I don't get my anger out, bottling it up can actually cause more damage. You should never tell someone to suck up their feelings. Telling someone to suck it up and never release any justified emotion is just going to damage that person's psyche, young or old.)

Yes, I will be secretly angry about this in front of my kids for a few days. I will lose my anger over it eventually. I will never forget. I will never bring in another science project if this type of garbage is going to happen.

Also, this is not the first time the harpies have struck.  My oldest won the leadership award this year, but after a week...parents complained so much that she had won last year, that it was unfair for her to win again. They essentially awarded another kid for doing nothing, because they don't like my kids winning shit. We let that go, and didn't get upset about it.

This time it was blatant, and she didn't have a damn chance.

So, yes, I am very angry about this. Telling me 1) how to parent my children, 2) to calm down, and 3) that life isn't fair and to stop being a baby over a "petty science project"...actually makes it worse. It wasn't a "petty science project". This was 45 DAYS of work.  This argument is one of "tone". I am allowed to feel the way I feel. You can never deny anyone the right to their own feelings. If you do that, you are no better then the harpies.

Diminishing the way someone feels is messed up. That person feels the way the feel for a REASON. Telling them to calm down and all of the other garbage you wrote, essentially is telling me that what those parents did was a-okay.

In the Olympics people are judged by their ability and how well they present themselves to be judged. This starts from the minute they step onto the stage. They are judged at a critical level from when they start to when they finish.

Why should I enter a competition when it is just going to be rewarded whichever harpie can scream the loudest. Why should I enter my children into a contest that I know will be 100% unfair? Why should I teach them over and over again that life is unfair, regardless of the hard work you do? It is a stupid, illogical argument that only an idiot would make when trying to teach a child one lesson - when they are actually going to learn another from the experience.

They are essentially learning that no matter how much work you put into something, that it doesn't matter...because if your mother BITCHES enough, you'll be rewarded for it. Fuck that you EARNED it. Your MOM will MAKE you get that prize! This is NOT the way people should be raising their children. I raise my children about fairness and how to earn their OWN rewards. Essentially these two children were rewarded because their mothers caused a stink. This is entitlement to a MAX.

Life is not fair. There is not a single person in the world (who understands how the world works to a small degree) that will ever disagree with that. In the real world, hard work is something that is always going to be seen (maybe not appreciated) and the people who can look at something like that and respect it for what it is...are the only people who will ever be able to truly appreciate it.

If she was in college and did a project like this, she would have impressed them and scored an A+. But, because we are in Kindergarten...it's a-okay to shit on her work and act like all of her work was for nothing. If this was a different social ladder, and she was older, people would be impressed, awed, and rewarded. Instead, she is a 5 yr old and it's a-okay to treat her like this because ... guess what? She's "learning a valuable life lesson". Bull fucking shit.

She is learning that people are entitled, hard work doesn't matter, that kids are spoiled brats, that adults can bully children, that her feelings (and mine) do not matter... I am sure she is learning more, and this is ALL because of a popularity contest. This is all because of adult jealousies. So, essentially, she is learning FIVE NEGATIVE lessons all in one. You talk about how I am negatively effecting my children with my supposed anger. But, what are they getting as a backlash from just those FIVE lessons above? Imagine that for a minute, and then you will start to maybe understand how bad this situation actually is.

I've taught my kid that their hard work is to be valued. The school told them that their hard work means nothing. That is not a value I want them to learn. I want them to enjoy learning and not feel like garbage when someone else doesn't do shit - and is rewarded. In life, you are NEVER rewarded for doing nothing, except...in science fairs and Halloween costume contests in school...apparently.