Child Abuse At Ross

I'm a firm believer in not getting involved in any type of other people's parenting, unless it is very obvious that a child is being abused or crosses my *imaginary* line. Obviously, my limit on certain things will probably vary from other people's. For the most part, I try not to get involved...as they are not my children.  But, if I see someone going above and beyond to abuse their children - I WILL step in.

We were are Ross, for a rare "date night", one where the hubby actually said I could buy whatever I wanted.  Which meant, he was going to force me to spend some money on myself, or attempt to, before he let the matter go. This is completely rare for me, as I usually want presents for the house or the kids.  Buying that new pot, is more important then replacing the old shirt I've been wearing since I was 15 years old.  My clothing needs or frills will always come last on the budget, and usually aren't taken care of. I think we even had a discussion about how long it had been since I bought something strictly for ME. (I believe I'm sitting at around 20 years without buying anything for me. Hey that new vacuum cleaner was important!)  Don't even get me started on how much I hate shopping.

Anyways... so there I was checking out maternity clothes (5 months pregnant, and barely even showing..../sigh), which I've never really had before. I usually just wear my husband's old shirts and a pair of "fat pants" or sweats. When I turn to my left, and see the massive array of shoes.  Yes, strappy sandals are my weakness...even if I'll only wear them once in a blue moon instead of flip flops.  It was like seeing the holy grail.

Unfortunately, none of them were fitting and none of them were "cute enough".  I'm really picky about my sandals. So, just as we were turning to leave the store...I heard a ruckus going on not 5 feet from me.  Being the nosey person I am, we turned to look to see what was going on.

This woman (35-ish), started out yelling loudly at her (12 yr old?) daughter.  It looked like the woman had three children total (12 yrs old, 8 yrs old, and 5 yrs old?). The daughter didn't know how to put on one of the strappy sandals...and asked the mother for help. The mother was not in a helping mood.  Instead of helping this girl, the mother was in an all out rage. "I'm not going to teach you how to put that on, you should have had it done already. Put them on now!"  There was plenty of other comments, such as the girl was being stupid and annoying.

Now, it's obvious when your kid doesn't know how to do something...or even if they do and want attention...you help them out.  At the best, this stops the constant "I don't know how" whines.  At the least, it gives you a minute to teach your child something - again - for kicks.  It's called parenting.  I was intrigued and horrified, at best.  I also know the feeling of losing patience with your children, and maybe snapping at them a bit.  So, I thought this was no big deal.  Boy, was I wrong.

As we turned to leave again, while my husband is making comments about how I always have to make sure that no one is being abused (and that it's none of my business) - I see the woman take the sandal out of the girl's hand and start hitting her - hard - with it.  I'm not talking about one or two hits.  I am talking about 10 hits before I finally got over to them.  You could hear the hitting, it was that hard.  This stopped even my husband dead in his tracks, and I could see him getting angry.  (He doesn't get involved when it's a woman, as he doesn't want her to randomly say he hit her...even when he didn't.  THIS has happened before.)

I finally get over to the woman, and ripped the sandal out of her hand.  When I'm that mad, I can't really remember verbatim what I say.  The jist of it was, she is abusing her child and if she continues to do it...I'll call the cops.  The little girl was in tears, and the mom was in indigent that I god forbid get involved in her "parenting". I told her that beating your child with a sandal, is not considered parenting by most standards.  I know I asked the little girl if she was okay, and the store manager eventually showed up.  They escorted the mom out, kids in tow.  I still don't think that was an appropriate response by the management.

There was applause from other shoppers about my actions.  I'm still not sure it was deserved, as I didn't really do anything other then stopping the abuse from happening in public.  No one else stepped in.  The manager didn't even seem to want to get involved, until she realized what a scene it had created.  The manager wouldn't let us leave the store until the woman drove away.  I was hoping to get a license plate, or something, for later use...if I called the cops.

Who knows what happens behind closed doors. I should have called the cops, but for some reason I didn't.  I do regret not calling the cops, if only to assess and make sure ALL the children weren't being abused.  I'm still not sure why I didn't.  I only managed to stop what was happening THEN and THERE.  Who knows what happens at home.

 I'm still unsure why no one else stepped in.  Why I didn't call the cops?  Is this is considered abuse in this state?  This is something I need to look into more. I mainly didn't call the police because after she left, I had no way of tracking her down.  No license plates, no names, nothing.

In the end, I'd step in again.  That "mother's" actions were over the line.  There is a limit to beating a kid, verbally, or mentally abusing your kid in public.  While I might not step in if a parent calls their child stupid once, I WILL step in if someone hits their kid with a sandal.  (I mainly don't step in for verbal or mental abuse, simply because it could be a one time thing...and you never know if the kid broke a $50 glass vase or something...)

I completely disagree with the "it takes a village to raise a child".  No, it takes a loving parent who can provide strict guidelines.  While I am not the most amazing parent in the world, I would never beat my children with a sandal.  I'm perfectly human like every other parent out there, and sometimes lose my patience.  But, losing your patience and turning it THAT physical in public...is obviously over the line.  Hell, just the fact she was doing it in public?  That means something else was going on...