Big Love: Season 1, Episode 1

After much searching, I finally realized I can watch them online (we have HBO through Comcast). Took a little bit of remembering passwords and attempting to find my parental controls (which were off, but my internet was saying it was on). So, now I'm finally watching this shitty series - ready to pick it apart.

I even talked to a few friends of mine about what I was planning to do and honestly, they all believed Big Love and Follow the Prophet were 100% true about LDS members (didn't even know there was a difference between FLDS and LDS). I hate you Tom Hanks, and I hate the director/producer/screen writer of Follow the Prophet. I hate them all. They have no idea what kind of backswing this has caused for the truly religious LDS community, that does NOT abuse little kids and have 40 wives.

Opening scene where he is in his tighty whities, really made me almost want to puke. Even my devote husband wears boxers. That was just totally unneeded. No, garments do NOT look like that. Nor, did I REALLY need to see them having sex. Yes, I know, HBO, but really?? I don't need to watch some old guy struggling to get his penis into some chick.

I'm about halfway through the episode now, and honestly he seems to be the type of person who has REALLY low self esteem. He can't get it up with his new wife, and he seems really self-conscience. That doesn't give him a reasont to mentally and emotionally fuck up his world though. For the record: That has to have some effect on those kids!

The blonde wife seemed to shop a lot. I have never once really ordered anything out of a catalogue...let alone had that many credit cards! I have one credit card for emergencies only. And the fact her kid knows who UPS is, is really strange. She gave off this air of being obsessed with "fashion". Though cowboy boots really aren't that fashionable.

In a prayer, you're not really supposed to ask for things that are selfish. I know people do it, however asking for a successful store opening is kind of like...uh...what?? He also started and ended the prayer completely differently then LDS members would. I'm not sure why he even phrased the end like that when he prays to his God every day at LEAST 3 times a day? I think that was just for the storyline/camera though.

I also don't know about anyone else, but this was a complete confused mind-fuck for me. Even with my exstensive knowledge about the LDS and FLDS religions, I was left hoping for some sort of explanation in episode 1. But, 15minutes in and I'm absolutely in a confused mind-fuck situation of not knowing what the fuck is going on. I obviously picked up on a few things, but I'm still generally confused.

I also guess I don't understand why she "wanted to do it this way". Do they realize there are multiple ways to have sex? So far, I've noticed the one position from him with that blonde chick in the beginning - boring. Then from behind? OHHHH! Daring! Her garments are not the typical LDS garments either.

Please, for the love of God! I do NOT NEED to see them having sex! That has NOTHING to do with their situation. I don't need to see the differences in how they have sex, or how attracted they are to this old, ugly man. Sure, it matters that he can't get it up for one of them. But, you can just TELL me that, don't fucking SHOW me it. Nor did I really need to see him supposedly getting head. Gross!

I'm sure there are many reasons for erectile disfuction and I'm sure he's in the proper age range (it probably effects even 20 yr old studs too). However, why am I having to see this? This guy has 3 chicks, and 3 different lives with each? He's sitting happy. Why am I being shown something so pointless to this show?! Each couple is different, and so is their issues - so WHY do I need to watch him having sex? I'm also POSITIVE, he didn't have this MANY problems before! He's got like 8 kids, and it costs $2,000 (no healthcare covers seminal injection) per 3 injections. That's too much money.

I also don't think a solution for his impotency will be found online, but rather in his head. He has a lot of issues going on right, namely being he has 3 wives. That's alot of stress. Get rid of the latest 2 and go about like a normal person.

Yeah, it looks like the blonde is the 2nd wife...and she is definitely addicted to shopping. I'm sure that is her version of coping with having to SHARE a husband. She also seems to be really super attached to him, creepy-like. She buys clothes for her kids, and doesn't even take off all the stickers and shit before she puts them in it? I buy clothes for my kids every 6 months, at the thrift store usually. But, SHE has some serious spending issues. They also seem like they are having money issues, and she can't understand that. Way to spend them out of houses and homes.

She runs outta milk and goes over to Barb's house for skim milk...and steals her peanut butter while she's there. Does she even spend money on FOOD? Even her credit cards are maxed out. What the hell is she thinking? What's worse is she just keeps trying to spend even more money. I've never had a card maxxed out, and IF that happened, I'd make sure it was being paid and that we weren't in a super financial crisis. (Didn't she also just order some boots or something the day before??) Who the FUCK buys curtains for $3,100?! I don't even HAVE curtains! And then, after completely destroying their finances even more - she cries?! Get the fuck over yourself! Stop ruining your own life! Get a husband, be his ONLY spouse, and don't spend so much fucking money. For that matter, TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS! Oh, her name is Nikki.

I can't even feel pity for these chicks. They put themselves in this situation, and honestly, it doesn't even look like the guy even LIKES her. She's a selfish bitch, who wants to shop instead of buy food for her kids. I HATE people like that.

The brown haired chick (3rd wife), seems to have self-esteem issues too. She is obsessed with her "baby" weight. Come on, you will never be the same size you were before your kids. It just doesn't happen. You can get close, but no reason to obsess over it.

The redhead (Barb) chick (1st wife) seems to have the strongest connection with him. I'm not sure why they called her the dragonlady, other then that they are jealous of the time she had with him BEFORE they stepped into the picture. I'm hoping we see more of her, as she seems the most normal.

Okay, now that he actually has a night with her. I'm surprised. He wore pjs, and doesn't seem attracted to her at all. No wonder he wanted another wife or two. But, that's NO excuse! Way to treat her like garbage! She puts up with the MOST!

When they were going over their schedule, I had the distinct impression that Nikki is a psychotic, selfish bitch. Sure your kid turns 5, that's important, however...she seems like she's being really selfish about the whole thing. She made a big stink over having him to herself, for her KID'S birthday. Nikki is also VERY disrespectful over the money. They get equal pay, and Nikki also has her own checking account, AND she gets money left on the dresser table. That seems like she is getting way more special perks then the others.

I'm surprised that the curse words were changed to things like "dumbhead", when you obviously know what they meant. Why isn't dumbhead a curse word, like dumbass is? Oh that's right, because the magical God of curse words didn't say it was one.

As per him asking her for HER money, and telling her what to do. She had every right to be pissed off. Yeah, let's help out Nikki who can't even control her spending. Fuck that. Honestly, I think he really did ask because Nikki was begging for more money. Don't pay that bitch shit! She also had a point with the pjs, the one time he wore pjs was for Barb's night. How fucked up is that!

I thought it was funny how Barb, the 1st wife, took the front seat from Nikki, the 2nd wife. I doubt that Nikki even realizes that she's not #1, and never will be #1. Poor baby. Nikki is also an attention whore. She doesn't like it when the guy stops paying nonstop attention to her.

Apparently, this late into the movie, we are told that they live in Salt Lake City. I'm sure it was a great idea to put them in SLC, just so the viewers get confused about the LDS and FLDS even more!

What the fuck was that chick even quoting? What's wrong with LDS missionaries? They are more normal then this fucked up family we're following. I don't even eat white bread, and I absolutely HATE jello. So, once again, that is grouping and a bigot comment. I also was not a virgin when I got married. Though, my husband was, and honestly I loved him for it.

#3 is a terrible mother. Regardless of if they are all her kids or not. I have two, and it literally takes no effort to keep them entertained while I change a diaper. I don't like Nikki's attitude about "paying respects" to her father. His dad is like almost dead, and she's demanding that NOW? I think that visiting shit can wait.

The 80 yr old married to the 12 yr old was disgusting! Oh, I'm sure it happens in the FLDS community...but it does NOT happen in the LDS community (where Tom Hanks once was a member, supposedly). He must be the "prophet". I also, REALLY doubt, that 4,000 FLDS members live in that area (I really see this as 4,000 pedophile and their followers...plus the children forced into it). I don't even think there that many in the WORLD in their church. Especially since they keep getting closed down. The old man is really creepy.

After the long conversation between the two girls, you can obviously tell that one is LDS and the other is FLDS. It's very clear. This is yet another reason why I don't understand why people THINK (and seem so sure of it!) that it's MAINLY about the LDS. Hello! Polygamy = FLDS! Dumbasses! I don't know why she didn't just come out and say she's not LDS. If you let her think you're "inactive" that means you're a member of the church. You're NOT!

I guess the reason why the hubby decided to get more wives is because he wanted more kids. It seems like his wife had cancer, and he decided to get penis happy elsewhere. That doesn't give him the excuse to go screw other chicks. If anything, that makes him a TERRIBLE husband and that Rhonda chick is a selfish brat.

Oh god, Nikki's father is the prophet. No wonder she is totally fucked up. I like how Nikki claims the entire thing is "superficial". The only person I see worrying about superficial shit, is omg...Nikki! Her mother actually made sense. LOL Nikki picked that shit life, so stop fucking complaining about it now. If you don't like it, LEAVE!

I don't think the husband has a right to tell Barb to "leave them be". That little snot of a "wife" attacked her and talked shit about her, right in front of her face! That was the rudest shit I ever saw. I mean, I'd definitely talk shit about that little bitch too. Why does everything have to be with money about him? Why does he even keep going back to it? Is that all she is to him? Previous wife, whom he tolerates just so he can see his kids and steal money from?

I'm curious to know how they got sealed as a family in a temple, that they can't even get into. I agree that he needs to remember where the fuck he comes from, cause before his wife had cancer...he probably was a great husband, then he turned selfish and into a prick.

Personally, my favorite part was the ending credits, which no one reads. It didn't say that THIS show was about the FLDS church, not the LDS church. Aside from that, we starteded denouncing polygamy publicly in 1835 with the Doctrine and Covenants. It was "officially" written down as a ban in 1852 though. So, in reality, once again Tom Hanks has his facts incorrect. Good going. Onto the next episode.